Friday, September 30, 2005

Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel - Full Version

Here is the full version of the St. Michael prayer as received by Pope Leo XIII.

O glorious Prince of the heavenly host, Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in the fearful warfare that we are waging against the principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the evil spirits. Come you to the assistance of men, whom Almighty God created immortal, making them in His own image and likeness and redeeming them at a great price from the tyranny of Satan. Fight this day the battle of the Lord with your legions of holy Angels, even as of old you did fight against Lucifer, the leader of the proud spirits and all his rebel angels, who were powerless to stand against you, neither was their place found any more in heaven. And that apostate angel, transformed into an angel of darkness who still creeps about the earth to encompass our ruin, was cast headlong into the abyss together with his followers. But behold, that first enemy of mankind, and a murderer from the beginning, has regained his confidence. Changing himself into an angel of light, he goes about with the whole multitude of the wicked spirits to invade the earth and blot out the Name of God and of His Christ, to plunder, to slay and to consign to eternal damnation the souls that have been destined for a crown of everlasting life. This wicked serpent, like an unclean torrent, pours into men of depraved minds and corrupt hearts the poison of his malice, the spirit of lying, impiety and blasphemy, and the deadly breath of impurity and every form of vice and iniquity. These crafty enemies of mankind have filled to overflowing with gall and wormwood the Church, which is the Bride of the Lamb without spot; they have laid profane hands upon her most sacred treasures. Make haste, therefore, O invincible Prince, to help the people of God against the inroads of the lost spirits and grant us the victory. Amen.

Pope Leo reportedly received this prayer during a vision he received just after celebrating Mass on October 13, 1884. In it the devil had requested the time and power to destroy the Church. The time given by Jesus to him was approximately 75 to 100 years and he was given free reign over those who chose to follow him. We do not know when that time began or if it has ended.

We are always to test the spirits as St. John calls us to in his letter. 1 John 4:1-6.

In my experience it is by spending time with Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament that we begin to become sensitive to the spiritual warfare going on around us as well as within us. He will teach us how to be good soldiers in this spiritual war. He will give us the weapons and defences we need.

Remember, the greatest gift we have been given, one of the ones Satan really hates, is the fact that we can fall, and then through an act of contrition and the Sacrament of Reconciliation be back in the good graces of God! Praise be Jesus Christ for this wonderful gift!

Pax vobis,


Pregnancy announcement

Hey there, here I am finally writing a blog for the first time in my life. I thought I would start with some great news. My husband John and I are expecting baby #2 next year! We are both very excited and looking forward to seeing our new addition and we have officially spread the news to most close family and friends. We also heard the baby's heartbeat the other day! Took a while for the doctor to detect it but finally found the heart beating at 156 beats per minute. I wish we had our own doppler device so we can listen to the hearbeat whenever we want. :) It is so amazing.
My brother and sister-in-law are also expecting a baby around the time as us but for them it will be through adopting a baby girl from China. They have a very slim chance of conceiving since my sister-in-law has severe endometriosis. They are very excited to adopt this baby and the family is very happy and supportive as well so it is all pretty neat.
God bless!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

The Mysteries of Light

Some words that came to me while praying the Rosary this evening.

Jesus is baptized in the Jordan (Matthew 3:17)
"My Son, I am so proud of You!" God the Father

The wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12)
"Do as He tells you". Mary, Jesus' mother.

The proclamation of the Kingdom of God and the call to conversion.
"I am so proud of what my Father is doing! Let me show you!" Jesus Christ

Jesus is Transfigured (Luke 9:29)
"My Son, I am with you now, here is something to help You when times get tough". God the Father.

Jesus institutes the Eucharist (John 13:1)
"I love you my brothers and sisters. I want to be with you and to help you. Here, feed on me. Let me be your source of life." Jesus Christ

Pax vobis,


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Resistance to Change

"...enthusiasm for a virtue does not guarantee possession of that virtue; and that a clear perception of the beauty of spiritual transformation can coexist with a deep reluctance to let oneself be re-formed by Christ." Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Intro. viii

This is a statement in the introduction to the Transformation in Christ is by the author's wife Alice. To my immediate recollection I have never had anyone put into words in such an eloquent way what has essentially been my experience from the beginning of my Journey with the Lord Jesus.

One of the things that is so amazing about this statement is that it is Jesus who gives us that perception of the beauty to be had when transformed! He makes every effort that He possibly can to show us, or even experience, what it is that is waiting for us on the other end of the Cross!

And yet, I RESIST! YIKES! :-p

It was through a mystical experience that Jesus first gave me this perception. It happened around a year before I became Catholic and was instrumental in creating a hunger in me for God.

I was with a new friend who was essentially the instrument of my conversion. We were talking and he was sharing with me another world, the world of God. It was all so foreign to me as I was into some very dark things. At one point in the evening, it was as though Someone had touched me. This sense of total peace and contentment came over and in me that I broke down and cried because of the contrast between that peace and my daily life. I had never experienced being so comfortable in my own skin. I had never experienced such a total peace like that before that moment. It stayed with me for a short time and then left. I felt so empty.

From that moment, I made a commitment to discover that peace. That peace was the gift. I soon discovered that I was looking for the wrong thing! I needed to be looking for the gift Giver.

After becoming Catholic, and beginning the Journey I discovered that it was indeed possible to know what the Lord had in store for me after a healing process that He was calling me to enter. Even He received that gift in the Transfiguration! But, boy oh boy there were many times, and there still are some times, when I refused to cooperate. I did not want that cup of suffering!

The agony of healing can be so incredibly intense and totally consuming. Yet, once the process is finished, I was always one step closer to that deep peace that the Lord has for me. It was His promise that He made to me when He gave me that gift of peace right at the beginning, and then in the many times he gave me a new perception afterward, that gave me the strength to make the decisions to follow the healing path.

"...Christ suffered for you and left an example for you to follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21

St. Peter surely wasn't kidding when he said these words! In context, he is speaking to those who receive unjust punishment for something they did not do. This passage is so significant to those of us who have indeed suffered unjustly at the hands of others! I am thinking specifically of those of us who have been abused.

Realizing that Jesus suffered the ultimate abuse at the hands of us all because of our sin, that He indeed walked the same path as I, can sometimes be the only source of light at the end of the long dark tunnel of the healing path. He triumphed and rose from the dead! I too triumph in Him and with Him in His victory!

Praised be Jesus Christ for being willing to walk that path! Praised be Jesus Christ for willingly sharing His victory! And, praised be Jesus Christ for being so generous as to give us glimpses of the gift waiting for us after my time in the crucible!

Pax vobis!


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Old Wounds

The trip to my Mom's was difficult. Unfortunately she was not in a very good space and Anne-Marie sensed that so she didn't like to go to her Grandma.

Even though Mom is in a different house than the one that I grew up in, I still had a huge struggle with the old wounds that were rearing their heads while visiting there.

It is only through grace that I was able to avoid falling into the old patterns of co-dependent behaviours and allow Mom to press my buttons. Fortunately, with the support of Lucille and by grace, I was able to stop those button presses pretty much at their source.

For those of us who have been abused by a parent, parents, or close relative(s) it can be very difficult to be peaceful and present to the moments as they present themselves while in the former abuser's presence. Even with the grace of a deep forgiveness and letting go it can be very difficult.
Thanks be to Jesus Christ for His grace, and especially for bearing my wounds on His person during His Passion and Death. It is through Him that I have been healed.

Pax vobis,


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Trust and travel.

We are flying out very early tomorrow morning to visit my mom.

It takes an element of trust and faith to get into what is essentially a tin can and expect to get out on the other end. So far, I have been fortunate to not have had any real negative experiences while flying.

The two exceptions to that rule were one time over the Great Lakes where we were doing these huge drops and then huge rises instantaneously for an undetermined period of time (I don't wear a watch). That was pretty crazy. The two young kids behind me were having a hoot, one of them managed to get rocked to sleep! I had to hang onto my cookies or they would hit the ceiling hard!

The other time was taking off out of an airport on an older 727 and it felt like the pilot figured he was still in his crop duster! We were not too far off the ground, we were heading East and needed to do a 180, when the engines pitched up even higher than they were during the take-off, and he rolled the plane literally over on its side into some sort of combat roll/turn! I turned a little green and prayed in that moment.

The best part for me though, is when we are taking off. I love the acceleration! I also love to try and predict just when the wings take lift as that causes a kind of thrumming feeling pass through the fuselage.

So, pray for us as we take a little break from the craziness of our business lives lately. We will do likewise for you too!

Pax vobis,


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Chaplet of Divine Mercy

On the Rosary Beads:

Begin with the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Apostle's Creed.

On the Our Father beads pray:

Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, should and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the world.

On the Hail Mary beads pray:

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Conclude by praying three times:

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

The Divine Mercy Chaplet was given to St. Faustina by our Lord on Friday, September 13, 1935. It is, I think especially important for us to pray today.

There are times where mercy and forgiveness are very difficult to find in this world. I am especially in desperate need of the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus Christ as I am such a terrible sinner!

Pax vobis,



They are indeed a gift from God.

The more children we have, the more love flows within the family. Our little Anne-Marie has demonstrated that so clearly.

She challenges us to dig deeply within to draw out the love and share it.

She teaches us how to love unconditionally, and to forgive and forget our hurts as she does. She does indeed forgive us -we do make mistakes - and forget because of the purity of her joy and love when she is with us at a later time.

And, ultimately she teaches us how to love God and receive His love unconditionally.

Pax vobis,


Sunday, September 18, 2005

Hurt and Healing

Living in close quarters can be a challenge at times. Inevitably, one of us says something or does something that hurts the other.

There are, in my experience, three types of hurts that one can experience at the hands of another:
  1. The perceived hurt. Something that was said or done by the other that touches a wound, or elicits some form of hurt feelings. Usually the other doesn't have a clue as to why there are any hurt feelings in the first place.
  2. The actual hurt. Something that was done by another, though unintentionally, that actually does hurt us. This can be something the other has said or done that has indeed hurt us. The other, in this case, will know that they have done something wrong.
  3. The malicious hurt. This one, to me, is pretty obvious. Someone goes out of their way to hurt us.

In the first two instances, there is a need to claim my feelings. When I have been hurt in either of these ways, I need to start with a prayer for forgiveness and healing. Once I have managed to bring myself into a calmer place - sometimes this can take time - I will sometimes try and reach out. For me, it is important to take a step back to work out my feelings because I might do or say something that will only cause more pain and hurt.

Once I have managed that, it is also important to take the steps to point out that I have been hurt. Usually it is pretty obvious because I have a distinct behaviour pattern when it happens.

The reconciliation and healing process can be the most difficult to get under way. Especially if one or both parties involved are particularly hard headed! ;)

Here, one should use statements like, "my feelings were hurt when you did x", or, "did you know that I was hurt when x happened?". Using accusatory statements like, "you hurt me by doing x!" or inflammatory statements that put the other down are to be avoided. They really only make matters worse. By starting with a prayer together for reconciliation, sitting down together and talking about the feelings that were hurt and the circumstances around that can be very vital to bringing peace back into the home and marriage.

As far as the third instance, one needs to be very careful. I have been in my fair share of manipulative relationships where the other would use very malicious and hurtful tactics, sometimes unknowingly, to put me in my "place". Outside of marriage, one could walk away if the other was unwilling to work things out, seek some form of help, and learn to treat others with respect. Inside marriage, especially if it is a constant form of abuse, then outside help is needed! Professional help is even better!

Ultimately, I find that it is only when we are consciously working to keep our relationship and marriage founded in and on the love given to us by the Father in Jesus Christ that we are able to pull through these tough times.

Pax vobis,



We just finished watching a movie on Terry Fox. What an amazing human being. Indeed, he was and still is a hero for many people.

With courage, determination, and the will to make sacrifices for others he accomplished a lot. His legacy is very much alive and well today.

Who today can be said to be a hero? One who will leave such an indelible mark upon the psyche of humanity?

I think that those who have given themselves in the service of their country and its citizens are. Whether in the military, reserves, police force, or fire fighters. To me, these people are very much deserving a thank you and most especially our prayers.

Suggestion: next time you are in a restaurant or coffee shop and see some of those who risk their lives for us, buy them their meal if you can afford it. Do it anonymously, or do it with a thank you. However you do it, give them a gift. They may one day save your life, or even give their life to save it.

Pax vobis,


Friday, September 16, 2005

The Jesus Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner. One can use the rosary to structure the prayer in a similar fashion as the rosary but using the 10 beads for the Jesus prayer. Or, if it is possible, one can obtain a Chotki which is used by those in the Eastern Rites to pray the Jesus Prayer with. It can have 33, 50, 100, or 103 beads on which to pray.

I like to pray the Jesus Prayer while sitting cross legged and in a quiet place. During the first part of the prayer, up to ...Living God, I breath in through the nose. During the last part, "have mercy on me a sinner" I breath out through the mouth sometimes speaking the words and sometimes not. The rhythm of the prayer helps one to focus on Jesus and listen to the inspirations of His Holy Spirit.

Sometimes I visualize His coming to me during the first part, essentially breathing Jesus in. During the second part, I sometimes visualize my sin leaving me as I breath out. Sometimes I am prostrate at the foot of His cross in dire need of His mercy. It is a centering prayer. It is a contemplative prayer. It is a prayer that states clearly who He is and who I am. It also brings peace and calm to the soul.

Pax vobis,


Thursday, September 15, 2005

Ownership and Responsibility

One of the lessons that I was taught very early in my Journey with the Lord was to evaluate my use and or abuse of the gift of creation. By that I mean that I needed to realize that I was totally responsible for any and all of my thoughts, words, and actions towards His creation. Those thoughts, words and actions were mine, and mine alone and I needed to start to take responsibility for their consequences.

Prior to my conversion, and then for a while after it, I lived in a world of denial. I passed the buck and placed blame anywhere else but with myself. I thought that people's poverty was their own fault. I lived in my own little world with the people I allowed in it, and reasoned that everything beyond this little world didn't matter one iota. Everything beyond my little world couldn't have any effect on me and anything I did in my little world didn't matter to the rest of the world.

At some point, Jesus' call in the Gospels to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned, and shelter the homeless began to sink in. (Matthew 25:31-46)

If I kept on living in my little world, working for whatever I needed to consume, I would essentially be ignoring His call. I began to realize that I was in some small way responsible for the world around me too. If I kept everything to myself then my brother or sister on the street would continue to go hungry. If however, I gave them a couple of dollars to buy a coffee and sandwich then perhaps I have done my part to respond to His call. And, I also realized that it was not my place to make any assumptions about how that person would spend the money!
"In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me." Matthew 25:40
It is the Lord who speaks to me in the person asking for change. It is the Lord calling to me in the one who needs me to lend a compassionate listening ear, and it is the Lord calling to me to visit him in the nursing homes and hospitals.

How I choose to answer the call is my responsibility and no one else's.

Pax vobis,


Wednesday, September 14, 2005

My child in my arms.

I have just finished putting Anne-Marie to bed.

God the Father holds us in His arms just as I held her. He comforts us, he holds us close to his heart so we can hear His heart beating with love for us. That love is expressed with every beat.

His Son, Jesus Christ is a gift for us. Through His death and resurrection we are no longer separated from the Father. That is what I whispered to her as she was slowly falling asleep. She belongs to the Father.

The Holy Spirit is present in us. Just before I put her to bed, I offered to her these words of encouragement and comfort: You are the temple of the Holy Spirit, you were made for Him, for God, and Him alone. He has given us His Holy Spirit to dwell within us to always guide us on the path to heaven.
Pax vobis,


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Working too hard...

I have been very busy the last week or so. Today, I wasn't able to leave the job site until late this evening.

Anne-Marie our 18 month old was asking for me around the time I would normally come home.

It is times like these when I don't see her because I leave before she gets up, and come back after she has gone to bed.

I wonder what she will look like when I do finally get to see her?

She is growing up that fast!

Pax vobis,


Monday, September 12, 2005

The Breath of God

Yahweh God shaped man from the soil of the ground and blew the breath of life into his nostrils, and man became a living being. Genesis 2:7
...This "body" reveals the "living soul," such as man became when God-Yahweh breathed life into him (cf. Gn 2:7) Pope John Paul II, Theology of the Body p. 61

I have heard it said that everyone has a living twin somewhere in the world. I find this difficult to believe, especially given the fact that each one of us is unique. Each one of us is created in God's image.

Close your eyes, quiet your mind, listen to your breathing and the various notes in the melody of your body. Sense and know the beauty of that melody, for in it can be found the movement of that very Breath that gave us life!

It is that Breath that makes us distinctly who we are, God's children. It is that Breath that has given us purpose in this life.

Pax vobis


Sunday, September 11, 2005

My Father In-Law's Chair

When Lucille and I were married I moved into her apartment. It was quite the experience bringing two people and all of their stuff together in one small apartment. Especially two who have been living independently for many years! :D

Once we were settled in, I grew kinda attached to her dad's rocking recliner that he gave to her a number of years before. It is comfortable, well worn in, and it rocks! I love to sit and rock while reading, praying the rosary, or when I am just sitting and relaxing.

Another reason I have grown attached to it is because of the relationship that has developed between her dad and me. He is a hard working man who has farmed all of his life. I have a lot of respect for his faith, wisdom, his gentle strength, and especially his spirit of peace.

Our conversations have spanned everything from farming (his work), technology (my work), life, faith and Jesus Christ, family, and so much more. It is in these conversations, and in the way he lived his life, that I began to develop this deep respect for him.

I actually look forward to heading out onto the prairies to visit with Lucille's family so that I can spend some time with him.

So, sitting here now, in the living room of our little home in this his former chair, it is a reminder of a man who has become a role model for me. The chair is, in a real sense, a concrete sign of many of the aspects of fatherhood and manhood that I aspire to.

Pax vobis,


Saturday, September 10, 2005

A Taste of Heaven

Every once in a while, when I am completely in the moment the Lord gives me a taste, a glimpse into heaven. There are really no words to describe the experience other than perhaps a large number of adjectives like amazing, awesome and most especially peaceful.

One of those moments came when I was with a couple of friends in Adoration before the Lord. We were praying together, singing a few songs, and pouring over the Scriptures. It was after a song we were singing about the trees reaching for heaven that my whole person was lifted there. I experienced this deep joy and peace that lasted until one of my friends finally gently tapped me on the shoulder to ask me what was happening! It was neat to share with them how the Lord had just opened the door to heaven for me and we were there together.

Of course, I have to ask Him why I have had these experiences and one answer always seems to stand out before all others is to encourage me.

There are many sides to the reasons behind His need to encourage me.

One reason is that at times I sit in a moment where I am so fully aware of my entire self, good and bad - especially the bad, that I have a hard time believing that heaven could really exist for the likes of me. In these moments I am completely naked inside and out before Him. He, and those around me, need to keep affirming that I am indeed loved and that the gifts that they give me indeed are real and true.

The above self perception comes from years of physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse by those who were supposed to love me and that I was supposed to trust, or those who were supposed to be my friends and that I was supposed to be able to trust. That self perception is completely distorted from the truth! Also, my experiences of heaven stand out in stark contrast with those experiences in the first twenty plus years of my life.

Another reason, and this one brings me to tears at times, is that He can be standing there with open arms in a mystical moment, or in the person of my wife, child, adoptive father, or others and I shrug them off. It is very difficult to accept love after being beaten up for so long. I am sure it is as difficult for Him as it is for my wife, child, father, and others to have to deal with me not fully accepting their love for me.

And the final reason, I have no concept of dying and what that means and entails. I am sure that we are all in this boat to some degree or other. Death indeed is a mystery and we are told that Jesus conquered death on the Cross, but it is still something that nags at the back of my mind. Tied into that is my fear of not being in the state of grace at that moment. This fear comes from the ongoing struggle with sin in my life. It is here, in pondering death (called eschatology - the study of the last things, death, judgment, heaven, purgatory, and hell) that I meet with the concrete need to make an act of faith. I have to believe in Jesus Christ's victory over sin, death, and Satan. This is the only way to conquer this fear.

It goes without saying that the Lord knows exactly what we need and when we need it. The tastes of heaven always seem to come at a time just when I need some affirmation and encouragement from Him.

Jesus, I thank you for blessing me with these moments, for the wisdom and understanding that You bring to me in them, and for Your encouragement.

Pax vobis,


Friday, September 09, 2005

Duc in Altum - Put out into the Deep!

2. The Internet is certainly a new “forum” understood in the ancient Roman sense of that public space where politics and business were transacted, where religious duties were fulfilled where much of the social life of the city took place, and where the best and the worst of human nature was on display. It was a crowded and bustling urban space, which both reflected the surrounding culture and created a culture of its own. This is no less true of cyberspace, which is as it were a new frontier opening up at the beginning of this new millennium. Like the new frontiers of other times, this one too is full of the interplay of danger and promise, and not without the sense of adventure which marked other great periods of change. For the Church the new world of cyberspace is a summons to the great adventure of using its potential to proclaim the Gospel message. This challenge is at the heart of what it means at the beginning of the millennium to follow the Lord's command to "put out into the deep”: Duc in altum! (Lk 5:4). Message of the Holy Father for the 36th World Communications Day. Pope John Paul II, Sunday May 12, 2002.

It is our responsibility to respond the call of our Lord to witness to our faith. And, in my experience, there is no more important a place to do it than in the realm of technology and the Internet.

What a beautiful and awesome responsibility it is for us Christians to bring His Light into this place! How wonderful it is to share the love that we have for Jesus Christ, for our brothers and sisters, and for our selves than to lay bear our souls to the world.

The Pope John Paul's original message can be found here.

Pax vobis,


Thursday, September 08, 2005

Why wait ... The Gift...

Why wait to have sex until one gets married you ask?

"The communion of persons means existing in a mutual "for," in a relationship of mutual gift." Theology of the Body p. 61

Consider this: If it was your birthday tomorrow and I gave you a gift that has most of the wrapper torn off and the gift itself having already been used, how would you feel?

Consider this: How can one form a bond with that gift before reconciling the fact that it has been used?

And finally, consider this: For those who have kept the gift of themselves for their one and only future spouse, it can initially be very difficult to work through the feelings of hurt, disappointment, loss, and the fact that someone else has used that gift before them. There would need to be a very conscious act of the will to forgive the one who didn't keep the gift wrapped for them before they were married.

This view of who we are, a gift, is very contrary to the messages we hear from the world around us. God made us as a gift of love! Not only that, he made us in His image! Isn't that completely amazing? What a mystery we can spend an entire lifetime pondering!

I am only now beginning to understand what it means to be a gift for my wife Lucille. And the flip side of that is I am only now beginning, after almost 3 years of marriage, to understand the mystery of her giving herself completely to me as a gift.

The "for" spoken of in the above quote can be situated like so: I live for Lucille and she lives for me. What an amazing mystery!

Pax vobis,


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Self-Esteem or Humility?

According to self-esteem is defined as, "pride in one's self and self respect". We hear a lot about self-esteem and the need to build a person's self-esteem up, especially in young people.

It seems to me that humility is what we should be affirming and building up. As opposed to the self doing the building, a humble person recognizes the Builder and the relationship that person has with Him.

True humility also gives one an objective point of view from which one can evaluate all of one's thoughts, words, and actions. Self-esteem on the other hand may not provide that objective point of view since one's self-esteem and how to raise it up could be accomplished in any number of different methods good or bad.

A point to ponder or am I out to lunch?



Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Reading and life part 2.

I took a number of years off from reading. The exceptions being the Scriptures and the writings of a few of my very favourite saints. St. John of the Cross is at the top of my list. I love praying over his works and delving into his mystical wisdom.

That time off ended when I entered into the seminary. This was the biggest step of my life in the Journey with the Lord at that time. That was back in 1996.

Studying theology rewoke in me the hunger to delve into God's mysteries via the various course reading materials. I realized that I had been missing something over the previous number of years. I love to read! And, I really love to read and discover God!

The formation I received during my two year stay in the seminary taught me to augment the relationship I had with God with what I was learning. I could now bring what I was learning directly into my heart. This isn't to say that the process of absorbing what I was learning was a one step one that happened instantly. On the contrary, the process can take a lot of prayer and time.

Now, almost ten years later, I still love to read. Although now, I read what I sense the Lord is calling me to read and discuss it with him in our quiet times together.

Pax vobis,


Monday, September 05, 2005

Reading and life.

I went through my initial conversion experience to Catholicism at the Easter Vigil celebration in 1989. For the year preceding that evening and for the next three years or so following it I read voraciously. Everything and anything that I could get my hands on.

I spent a lot of time with St. Thomas Aquinas and his Summa Theologica, with Spirago and Clark in the Catechism Explained, Fr. Hardon's Catholic Catechism, books on spiritual warfare, Fr. Schouppe's Purgatory, Apologetics, and the list goes on and on.

I was fortunate that I worked the night audit shift in one of our local hotels so I could spend most of my time reading.

A friend of mine and I were chatting one day about the various books we had read and who our favourite authors were. At one point, he indicated to me that he had stopped reading books a number of years ago. When I asked him why, he told me there were a number of reasons. One was that he realized that the more he knew the less he actually knew, he also realized that the more knowledge he had the more he was responsible for that knowledge, and finally that one could not live one's life out of a book.

That conversation left a very deep impression on me. I looked back over the last few years at that time and realized that I was spending a very significant portion of my time reading. I went to the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament to ask Him what I should do.

I am not sure how long I was there with Him, but I came away with a very deep peace in my heart with the decisions we made together there.

I was to take everything that I had learned over the last number of years and learn to apply that knowledge. I was to take responsibility for what I knew and make sure that I responded to every life situation in the way that the Lord would expect me to. And lastly, as I learned to apply the knowledge to my daily life, I needed to allow it to embed itself into my heart.

Now, I look back on that moment as one of the most significant moments in my Journey with the Lord. Using my friend at that time He spoke a clear call to action. It is that action that lead me to be in the various places that the Lord needed me to be in to make the decisions that would direct my entire life.

Pax vobis,


Thursday, September 01, 2005


I have a tendency to over work. In the process I forget about my priorities:
  1. My relationship with God.
  2. My relationship with my wife
  3. My relationship with my child
  4. My relationship with others
  5. Our business and work

Because of that, I am taking tomorrow, that is Friday through Monday off to spend time with family and to spend time in the quiet.

Pray for us!

Pax vobis,