Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dominic: Our Little Intercessor from Above

From the beginning, when we lost Dominic through late miscarriage in October of 2010, I have always thought of him as our little Saint in heaven.

For some reason, many people refer to babies dying within the womb as angels. I believe this is a misrepresentation of who our child is within the womb. Angels are angels. They are messengers of God. They are not human.

I think Dominic and all babies who die within the womb can be ‘compared’ to an angel because they do send us a message like our heavenly angels do. In other words, they can act like a messenger so to speak.

Since a few months ago, I have been writing in a journal dedicated to Dominic. I write letters to him almost every day.

A couple of weeks ago, our oldest son woke up with a very stiff neck. Right away, I thought it was rather odd. I thought about calling for a doctor’s appointment but instead, I decided to wait and see thinking he may have just slept the wrong way. Later that same day, I took his temperature and he had a high fever.

We realized that there was a need to take him in to get his condition checked. Thankfully, the doctor did not think it was meningitis but requested blood tests just to be on the safe side.

Before going to bed, I wrote to Dominic in my journal. I wrote asking Dominic to ask Jesus to help his brother get better. The next morning Raymond had no fever but his neck was still pretty stiff. Raymond told me that he had a dream. He said Dominic was in his dream and he had fluffy, curly hair. I asked him if Dominic talked to him. He said he did not remember but a little later he said that Dominic told him, “I love you” in his dream.

I thought wow, coincidence? No, I believe this is not a coincidence. Did Dominic really intercede for us? Yes, I believe he did. I told this to a family member who said he has asked for Dominic’s intercession as well and whatever he asked for was granted.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church talks more in detail about the communion of saints and more specifically, the intercession of the saints. In regards to the intercession of the saints, the CCC stated:

Being more closely united to Christ, those who dwell in heaven fix the     whole Church more firmly in holiness… They do not cease to intercede with the Father for us, as they proffer the merits which they acquired on earth through the one mediator between God and men, Christ Jesus… So by their fraternal concern is our weakness greatly helped.

Furthermore, the CCC added, “Do not weep, for I shall be more useful to you after my death and I shall help you then more effectively than during my life” (p. 205).

The latter are two very powerful statements. They can truly be consoling to those who are grieving a loss of a loved one.

I am so proud of our little Saint in heaven. We miss him terribly yet what a gift God has given us in his short life here on earth.

Lucille Everett

Monday, December 26, 2011

Our Second Christmas without Dominic

Last year, we spent our first Christmas without the baby we lost through miscarriage at almost 18 weeks gestation. Like many around this time of year, instead of being a joyful event, Christmas turns into a burden that we don’t necessarily fully look forward to but instead dread.

Grief overpowered me last year and this year it was still there at a different level. As much as I desired my  heart to be more joyful this time of year, my heart just was what it was because someone was missing. People have many different ways of dealing with grief. Some may choose to ignore it or deny it, some may set it aside, some may resort to bitterness and anger, and some choose to deal with it head on. How do you deal with grief?

The neat thing is that even though we may be stuck in grief, it is difficult to ignore the fact that Jesus is now with us as a baby spreading peace all over the world. Mary desires with all her heart for us to touch him and hold him. He is the Saviour of the world. She wants us to draw near to him and weep with joy.

Before Christmas, I was drawn to listen to an old cassette I bought on one of my two trips to Medjugorje. The cassette is called “The Story of a Wounded Womb” by Sister Emmanuel. One of the things that Sister Emmanuel talks about is about a man she met who was in deep distress and hopeless. His life was on the brink of being turned upside down. This man was in Medjugorje, received a tape about a man named Albert who made a deal with Our Lady. The deal was he would give all of his burdens to Our Lady and in return he would pray for Our Lady’s intentions.

He met Sister Emmanuel and told her about all of his hardships. He said he was going to give Our Lady all of his problems. The next day, he was looking for Sister Emmanuel to talk to her before leaving. He was weeping for joy because he prayed for hours for Our Lady’s intentions with his heart. He told Sister Emmanuel that he received a telegram saying he got his job back after being fired. His wife did not want a divorce anymore and his health was not so serious as to require surgery.

What would happen if we all gave Our Lady our burdens? In exchange, what if we prayed for all of Our Lady’s intentions? Perhaps we can start with, “Mary, I give my burdens to you and I will offer up this rosary for your intentions…” Amen.

Merry Christmas everyone!

May God richly bless you and give you the graces you need to deal with all of your burdens.

Lucille Everett

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

9 months after 17 week Miscarriage


I wrote this in July of this year but I am posting it now with a few changes:

I last posted on this subject in January so it has been a while. A lot of growing has been happening since then and the pain in my heart has softened some from being rock hard so there is some improvement. I am smiling more and actually laughing sometimes. I am really learning more and more to be more present to my children and husband. Catherine Doherty liked to call it the duty of the moment. For me, sometimes the duty of the moment means soaking in what my children are saying and really listen to what they are saying for example. It is so easy as parents to sometimes say, “Uh huh, uh huh”, when we seem to hear some things over and over.

Another big area I am growing in since our losing our tiny baby Dominic at 17 weeks is trust in God and in the people around me. Ironically, as I was reading an excerpt from my journal, in July of 2010, I wrote something that my husband John had told me. He told me that in order for me to go in the next room of my spiritual growth, I need to take a leap of faith. I need to let go of all the things that cling or stick to me re: wounds from the past. He further said that the next room for me involves abandoning myself to him and to God thus letting myself fall back, wait and trust that someone will catch me on the other side.

I elaborated and wrote that it is much easier for me or anyone to act or operate according to what my wounds are saying rather than facing my fears of a wound being touched and then to embrace the suffering if it comes.

John then suggested meditating on the gospel of John when Jesus was arrested. In this gospel, Jesus makes it clear to the soldier’s that He is going by His own will to suffer for our sins. He had total trust.

This Gospel reading also reminds me of the total trust and obedience of Abraham when asked to sacrifice his only Son. The story of Abraham is the perfect pre re-enactment of the future death of Jesus but without the death of Abraham’s son Isaac. For Abraham it was the ultimate test of which he passed with flying colors. He loved and total trust in God. Are we able and willing to trust God to this extreme?

The Divine Mercy Chaplet has been a daily practice for us since losing Dominic. I wrote how this came about in a previous post. “Jesus, I trust in You!” is what it says below the Divine Mercy Image. I believe the more we say this prayer, the more Jesus is teaching us about trust and His Infinite Mercy.

Lord, Have Mercy on Us! Help us and teach us how to trust in you completely.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Tenderness and the Heart Broken Open

St. Monica prayed and waited for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine, for _decades_. We look to her for perseverance in prayer no matter the cost.

When a deep conversion and eventual release of the heart takes place in one that we love it can be very tempting to want to draw this new experience of the other’s heart out as much as possible and as soon as possible.

However, just as it is when one has not eaten for a very long time and we must patiently eat very small portions, we must be patient and tender with our beloved and wait at their side during the process of the heart’s opening.

If we rush things we can end up causing our beloved’s heart to close back up and withdraw. Or, we may get lost in our selfish desire to open that heart up all the quicker.

Where is this coming from? Well, we all know that to a lessor or greater extent we all have our history of being hurt with the possibility of developing some very elaborate defenses and coping mechanisms depending on how extreme things were.

One of the most difficult things for those of us that have been deeply wounded in the past after getting married and living with that one person day after day is to let go and totally trust our spouse.

To let go so thoroughly that the heart is completely revealed to the other . . . nothing is held back. The ultimate in vulnerability.

Now, given that our spouse probably has their own history to deal with, again with protection mechanisms and coping mechanisms, it becomes all the harder to open up our heart to the other and be _totally_ vulnerable with them.

I mean, how could we since we sense that there is something within their own heart that they are holding back?

Yet our Lord makes it so clear through St. Paul in Ephesians 5 that we as men are called to do just that _over and over and over and over again_!

We are called to make continual sacrifices on behalf of our wife and child(ren). We are called to forgo our own pains, struggles, and selfish hurts to be totally vulnerable _to them_.

If we lose sight of our calling to be completely open and sacrificing our lives for our wife then we miss the opportunity to make an offer of love for her healing.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year . . . just as St. Monica made continual sacrifice and prayer for her son we offer our sacrifices to the Lord through Our Lady for our wife.

In the end, after all of that, the Lord may pleasantly surprise both of us with an amazing gift of healing that produces an openness of the heart that is gift beyond all imagination.

Indeed, there is Resurrection after the Passion and Death on the Cross!

John Everett

Memorial of the Apparition Michael the Archangel

Catholic Saints of the Day

Friday, April 15, 2011

Working on My to do list: Part 2

The following poem was another piece of writing that I was inspired to write last June/2010. It was inspired in part by an excerpt of a talk by a priest named Father Larry Richards. Here it is:

I’ve come to set you free,

Come confess with me.

I’ve come to set you free,

Come adore me.

Let me cover your sins, your wounds with My Most Precious Blood.

Let me deliver you from this flood.

Walk on the water,

Come follow me.

I will guide you,

To the place

I want you to be.

Let me lead your heart.

Let us not break apart.

Lucille Everett

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Working on My To do list: Part 1

The following words came to me in June/2010. I finally decided to stop procrastinating and post these words that were inspired while listening to an instrumental piece of music from the “Fireproof” soundtrack. Here it is:

Come Holy Spirit,

Rain down on me

With all your might,

With all your strength,

Pour forth into the most deepest depths of my wounds.

Purify me oh Lord,

Cleanse me from my sin.

Mother Mary carry my wounds

Gently to your Son.

“Pour forth, we beseech thee, O Lord,

Thy grace into our hearts,

That we, to whom the Incarnation of Christ, Thy Son,

Was made known by the message of an angel,

May by His passion and cross be brought to the glory of His resurrection,

Through the same Christ Our Lord.” (Taken from the Angelus prayer)

Fill me with your most precious blood

Let it flow,

Let it flow,

Let your redemption grow.

Together, we will bring my wounds

To your most Holy Cross.

Let my suffering be united to yours

For my salvation and for the worlds.

Let my suffering not be Your loss.

Lucille Everett

Monday, January 03, 2011

There Is Someone Missing – The First Christmas After Miscarriage

There was definitely something off this Christmas.

Neither Lucille or I had any idea how things would happen on the day of Christ’s Birth. On several occasions she mentioned that her heart was not really into it while mine was somewhere between numb and seemingly absent.

We managed to celebrate Christmas but things were pretty subdued. We did enjoy the kid’s reactions to their gifts and our own but indeed something, no _someone_, was missing in the midst of it all.

We know that Dominic is with the Lord and through the Communion of the Saints that he is with us too, but we missed being able to “touch” him while here in Lucille’s womb. We missed his presence deeply.

Dominic’s absence this Christmas was very much a parallel to God’s apparent absence of late. It is time for me, it seems, to hang on the Cross with Our Lord and share in His “My God, my God why have you forsaken me!?!” moment (Matthew 27:45).

Yet, somewhere in the midst of this numb heart is a hope that the Lord is indeed holding our little one close to His Heart, but at times it sure can be difficult to find that hope.

Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

John Everett

Blessed Peter Thomas

Catholic Saints of the Day