Tenderness and the Heart Broken Open

St. Monica prayed and waited for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine, for _decades_. We look to her for perseverance in prayer no matter the cost.

When a deep conversion and eventual release of the heart takes place in one that we love it can be very tempting to want to draw this new experience of the other’s heart out as much as possible and as soon as possible.

However, just as it is when one has not eaten for a very long time and we must patiently eat very small portions, we must be patient and tender with our beloved and wait at their side during the process of the heart’s opening.

If we rush things we can end up causing our beloved’s heart to close back up and withdraw. Or, we may get lost in our selfish desire to open that heart up all the quicker.

Where is this coming from? Well, we all know that to a lessor or greater extent we all have our history of being hurt with the possibility of developing some very elaborate defenses and coping mechanisms depending on how extreme things were.

One of the most difficult things for those of us that have been deeply wounded in the past after getting married and living with that one person day after day is to let go and totally trust our spouse.

To let go so thoroughly that the heart is completely revealed to the other . . . nothing is held back. The ultimate in vulnerability.

Now, given that our spouse probably has their own history to deal with, again with protection mechanisms and coping mechanisms, it becomes all the harder to open up our heart to the other and be _totally_ vulnerable with them.

I mean, how could we since we sense that there is something within their own heart that they are holding back?

Yet our Lord makes it so clear through St. Paul in Ephesians 5 that we as men are called to do just that _over and over and over and over again_!

We are called to make continual sacrifices on behalf of our wife and child(ren). We are called to forgo our own pains, struggles, and selfish hurts to be totally vulnerable _to them_.

If we lose sight of our calling to be completely open and sacrificing our lives for our wife then we miss the opportunity to make an offer of love for her healing.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year . . . just as St. Monica made continual sacrifice and prayer for her son we offer our sacrifices to the Lord through Our Lady for our wife.

In the end, after all of that, the Lord may pleasantly surprise both of us with an amazing gift of healing that produces an openness of the heart that is gift beyond all imagination.

Indeed, there is Resurrection after the Passion and Death on the Cross!

John Everett

Memorial of the Apparition Michael the Archangel

Catholic Saints of the Day

Things of this world.

As Catholic Christians we are called to be in the world, but not of it.

"I passed your word on to them, and the world hated them, because they belong to the world no more than I belong to the world. ... They do not belong to the world any more than I belong to the world." John 17:14,16.

"Do not love the world or what is in the world." 1 John 2:15

Our gifts and talents bring us into the world. In my case, it is my gift of being able to understand mechanical things, tear them down, rebuild them, put them back together, or repair and rebuild broken automobiles, or a broken computer's hardware and/or software.

Because of these gifts I have worked in the automotive industry for a number of years. In the last six years or so since the late 1990's I have been working in the computer industry, with Lucille and I starting our own business in the spring of 2003.

As a result of my gifts and talents, from a young age I developed a passion for cars, and then for designing and building high performance North American automobiles. I loved working with them because I was able to tangibly see and experience the results of my labours.

To me, a number of automobiles and automobile engines that have been produced over the years are works of art. The mid '60's big-block Corvette as well as the new C4 and C5 are definitely there, the Shelby 427 Cobra and Carrol Shelby's life and influence on the automotive industry, the Dodge 426 Hemi engine, and the 1996-1999 Ford Taurus V8 SHO (I own one ;)) all come to mind. If I put down every vehicle that I admire and why this list would go on for a while! Needless to say, there are a number of great expressions of human ingenuity and works of art within the automobile industry.

Later in life, I also became passionate about the technology industry. I was able to understand its complexity and bring about the results that I was looking for by studying it.

I enjoy my work exploring the constantly changing technology industry. I enjoy working with high performance servers and workstations, their operating systems, and the sometimes very complex applications that run on them. I love making these very complex environments run smoothly. It is a very difficult task that one needs to stay on top of not unlike one's spiritual life! Very complex networking environments, to me, are works of art. Whether they are in the spirit of Salvador Dali, Rembrandt, or Picasso I'll leave up to you! ;)

These passions have provided me with the opportunity to witness to Jesus Christ in industries that can tend to be quite devoid of Christ and His Light.

These passions have also provided me with the opportunity to struggle with who possesses what. That is, am I possessed by my passion for cars and computers and other things, or do I control my passions for these things. That to me is the key difference between being of the world - that is possessed by passions, things, and wounds; and being in the world - that is at least struggling in prayer to work with the graces provided by the Holy Spirit to remain in control of my free will and my passions. To be living in the spirit of God and not enveloped by my "fleshly desires" (Romans 8:1-13) is another way to put it.

I realize that there is a lot more to the passions and struggling with them. St. Augustine in his treatise on Marriage and Concupiscence speaks of the struggles with our earthly or desires based in the flesh. It is through reading and praying over this treatise, as well as identifying with him in his Confessions that I came to understand the need to cooperate with God's grace to remain attached to Him alone. It is St. Augustine, to me, who is the model of one who eventually cooperated with grace to overcome his passions and attachments.

The struggle with my passions is ongoing. By prayer, vigilance, discipline, and cooperating with the Holy Spirit I am able to keep them in check. I am able, by grace, to see my life and all of the things in it as being instruments, or vessels if you will, to bring glory to Jesus Christ.

St. Augustine, pray for us. Pray that we learn to keep our passions and desires in check. Help us to discover the giftedness of our passions and their purpose. Help us to become pure and holy just as you did. Help us to learn and discover the true meaning of God's creation.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

St. Augustine's Treatise on Marriage and Concupiscence.
Scriptural references to the struggles between the flesh and spirit can be found here.
Carrol Shelby's life and web site.