Dominic: Our Little Intercessor from Above

From the beginning, when we lost Dominic through late miscarriage in October of 2010, I have always thought of him as our little Saint in heaven.

For some reason, many people refer to babies dying within the womb as angels. I believe this is a misrepresentation of who our child is within the womb. Angels are angels. They are messengers of God. They are not human.

I think Dominic and all babies who die within the womb can be ‘compared’ to an angel because they do send us a message like our heavenly angels do. In other words, they can act like a messenger so to speak.

Since a few months ago, I have been writing in a journal dedicated to Dominic. I write letters to him almost every day.

A couple of weeks ago, our oldest son woke up with a very stiff neck. Right away, I thought it was rather odd. I thought about calling for a doctor’s appointment but instead, I decided to wait and see thinking he may have just slept the wrong way. Later that same day, I took his temperature and he had a high fever.

We realized that there was a need to take him in to get his condition checked. Thankfully, the doctor did not think it was meningitis but requested blood tests just to be on the safe side.

Before going to bed, I wrote to Dominic in my journal. I wrote asking Dominic to ask Jesus to help his brother get better. The next morning Raymond had no fever but his neck was still pretty stiff. Raymond told me that he had a dream. He said Dominic was in his dream and he had fluffy, curly hair. I asked him if Dominic talked to him. He said he did not remember but a little later he said that Dominic told him, “I love you” in his dream.

I thought wow, coincidence? No, I believe this is not a coincidence. Did Dominic really intercede for us? Yes, I believe he did. I told this to a family member who said he has asked for Dominic’s intercession as well and whatever he asked for was granted.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church talks more in detail about the communion of saints and more specifically, the intercession of the saints. In regards to the intercession of the saints, the CCC stated:

Being more closely united to Christ, those who dwell in heaven fix the     whole Church more firmly in holiness… They do not cease to intercede with the Father for us, as they proffer the merits which they acquired on earth through the one mediator between God and men, Christ Jesus… So by their fraternal concern is our weakness greatly helped.

Furthermore, the CCC added, “Do not weep, for I shall be more useful to you after my death and I shall help you then more effectively than during my life” (p. 205).

The latter are two very powerful statements. They can truly be consoling to those who are grieving a loss of a loved one.

I am so proud of our little Saint in heaven. We miss him terribly yet what a gift God has given us in his short life here on earth.

Lucille Everett

Vulnerability Continued...

The gift of self, to me, has essentially three parts: The spiritual gift (which can only be given and received in the state of grace), the mental/emotional gift, and the physical gift. I find, that as a society here in the West, we tend to focus in on the physical (with even more focus on the genital) with some attention to the mental/emotional. Hardly do we find any commentary on the spiritual connection between the spouses, or attention on the fact that we gift ourselves to the other in Marriage and that the gift is forever!

In order to give the complete self to another one must make an act of trust. To one who has been abused on all levels of being as I have, means that act of trust has even more weight. To me, that is in essence what true vulnerability is: to give the complete self to my spouse and trust completely that she will not crap, stamp, crush, tear apart, etc. that gift.

And that, my friends, is where Lucille excels! It takes a tender and gentle heart to sense and realize how to earn the trust of one with a history such as I. The honesty and mutual vulnerability that I see in Lucille, as well as that very special look she gives me every once in a while are all very important to me. But most especially, it is the way that she has treated me right from the start: with mutual respect and dignity. She has fostered the love that began to grow between us with such grace. I realized fairly early in our relationship that she was indeed a daughter of the Father! What a special grace! :*D

Truly I am blessed to have Lucille as my wife. And, truly I have been blessed by the Lord to have received the healing and strength from Him to be the person I needed to be when Lucille and I first met.

She was and is worth all of the struggles and pain in the healing process. She is indeed my best friend for the way she treats me is like no other human alive or dead has ever treated me!

Lucille, thank you and I love you! ;)

Pax vobis,

John Everett.

Vulnerability

Given the nature of my background it is very tough for me to be vulnerable. By that I mean, opening myself up to allow someone in, and to give myself completely to another.

And yet, my marriage depends on it.

I have made a commitment to Lucille. Part of that commitment is to give myself as a gift (I am slowly learning to see myself as one) and the other part is to receive the gift of her.

If I refuse to be vulnerable, our relationship will die. I will have essentially refused to give of myself to her, and refused to receive the gift of her.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, as He has put Lucille into my life and she understands this aspect of commitment. And a neat thing about that is, she understands my struggles with vulnerability and is very patient with me. She is always prayerfully supporting me as I struggle to learn.

Being vulnerable to me is an important part of the Sacrament of Marriage (CCC 1616, 1617). It is the opening of one's self completely to our spouse just as Christ did on the Cross. And therein lies one of the sources of Sacramental Grace.

Pax vobis,

J.E.