The Lord has given me a drop of consolation in amidst the spiritual desert that I have been in lately.
The word that Jesus gave me while adoring Him last week and this week again was, "John, open yourself to me".
While in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, I see myself standing before Him with my arms outstretched. I then open myself to him by literally opening my chest so that my heart is completely exposed.
The next step is to make an act of my will to open my heart, mind, spirit, and soul to Him. In this act of the will, I willingly receive Him into all areas of my being, trying to hold absolutely nothing back. During adoration of the Blessed Sacrament there have been times when I do sense His presence within me, though lately this has not been the case.
During this latest desert experience, it is those areas within myself that do not belong to Jesus that have seemingly come to the surface. They stand out so clearly especially while I sit with Him in the Adoration chapel.
So, I have been taking stock of those things and preparing myself for the journey to let them go, to either begin or renew my efforts on the healing journey.
By Jesus calling to me to open myself to Him, I am filled with hope and encouragement to work hard on the process of healing. That is important, because it seems to me that the healing process never seems to end!
His words also stand as a stark contrast to my past experiences. You see, when most of us see something ugly, or experience negative behaviour from someone who is very wounded, we tend to armour up and reject that person. We tend to protect ourselves from them, to push them away.
Jesus on the other hand, decides willingly to reach out to us in our woundedness and make Himself available. Witness how He deals with the woman at the well in John 4:7 or the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1. He is loving, compassionate and kind. The focus is not the individual's sinfulness, but an invitation for that individual to let go of the sin and embrace Him.
Ultimately, with St. Faustina we need to cry, "Jesus, I trust in You!" And further cry out, "Jesus, I trust that you have my best interests at Heart. Jesus, I trust in Your healing and merciful touch."
Finally, a bit of thanksgiving, "Jesus, thank You for Your call to healing. Thank You for drawing me deeper into Your Heart of Love. Thank You Jesus for the gift of Your peace."