From the Mouths Of Babes - Wisdom

Depending on the situation we are in or a decision we are discerning, we have taken to asking our oldest, Anne-Marie who is now 5, to pray with us and help us to decide or discern.

Raymond, at three, will also be included in the request to pray and contribute depending on the situation at hand.

The one thing that we have realized as parents is that we need to value whatever contribution Anne-Marie, or Raymond, make to the discernment process.

Even if their contribution seems to be completely out of bounds or even a total tangent to where Lucille and I may be at in the discernment process.

One thing we are discovering in this process is if Anne-Marie responds to our, "Why did you say that" with something like, "Because Jesus told me", we listen attentively to what she has to say.

Ultimately, as parents it is our responsibility to make the decisions.

But, a part of that responsibility is to make an act of humility before our children that recognizes their contribution as being a valuable part of our discernment process for decisions that directly impact our children and the family as a whole.

That value is one of the core foundations of their personhood that they will carry with them their entire lives.

The core foundations are the tools we teach our children to use to always keep their face towards the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ on Calvary.

Always.

John Everett

Feast of St. Stephen of Hungary

Movie: Fireproof - Never Leave Your Partner Behind

Lucille and I watched the movie Fireproof not too long ago.

• Fireproof - Never Leave Your Partner Behind (movie site)

Caleb and Catherine Hold are on the verge of divorce. There is no longer much of a connection between them with very little in the way of constructive communication happening either.

In what would seem a final and desperate move, Caleb reaches out to his father for some advice.

His dad asks him to hold off on getting into the divorce proceedings until Caleb receives a mail package from him.

When the package arrives, he finds a journal style book in it. Opening it, he finds the title of the book is The Love Dare.

In it is a call to a 40 day journey to work on turning around his marriage.

Needless to say, his journey is extremely painful and there are many struggles to overcome including his feelings of hopelessness for his marriage.

This is a good movie for husband and wife to sit down together and watch after the kids have gone to bed. That is, this is a movie for adults, or perhaps young adults mature enough to understand the dynamics of a relationship breakdown.

Take the time to listen with the heart, mind, and spirit to the message the Holy Spirit wants to share while watching the movie. Pray together before the movie starts. If nothing comes to mind or heart, pray a decade of the Rosary, or even an Our Father together to start off in the right space.

When the movie has finished, don't talk. Let the Holy Spirit's message sink in and then turn to each other and pray at least the Our Father together before starting a conversation.

Take the time to talk. If the conversation is fruitful, then keep it going. The grace will be there to deal with what tomorrow has to bring when tomorrow comes.

The duty of the moment is to discover what the Holy Spirit has placed on both hearts and pray and talk about it together.

If there is indeed conflict within the marriage, then this is an opportune time to humble ourselves before our husband or wife, take responsibility for our contributions to the conflict, and ask for forgiveness.

Marriage is a journey of love and sacrifice that is truly rewarding. We need to take the time to actually recognize the rewards!

Pax!

John Everett

Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Virtue of Perfection

When I woke up this morning, I needed to get this off my heart.

"She is the perfect wife," John says one day in front of my family as we were visiting this summer. Instantly, I say, "I am not perfect."

My husband has said this at other times in one on one conversations and it baffled me every time. Why is he saying this? I am not perfect. I am a flawed human being. I am sinful. Slowly, I began to realize that what he really meant is that we are perfect for each other but we in ourselves are not perfect.

On our little summer vacation, I learned that perfection is also a virtue. I learned this from a neat book called "A year with the Saints" by the Sisters of Mercy. This book also states a quote by St. Frances de Sales:

"Hate your imperfections, then, because they are imperfections, but love them because they make you know your nothingness and give to you an opportunity to exercise yourself in virtue, and to God to show His mercy towards you" (p. 163).

The book also talks about St. Vincent de Paul who "never felt anger and bitterness against himself on account of his defects" but "the pain felt for a defect will have something in it sweet and tranquil" (p. 162).

After I said I was not perfect, my sister-in-law responded by saying, "I know some people who think they are perfect". The response back was silence. The more I thought about this, the more I wondered what exactly does it mean to be perfect. I guess being perfect can be subject to interpretation.

Most importantly though, what does it mean to be perfect in God's eyes? There are several interpretations of perfection according to the Saints. For the sake of simplicity, I will mention 3 quotes from famous Saints.

The first:

Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do? Here is the true token of a soul absolutely perfect: when one has succeeded in leaving behind his own will to such a degree as no longer to seek, to aim, or to desire to do what he would will, but only what God wills (St. Bernard). (A year with the saints, Sisters of Mercy, p. 17).

The second:

To be perfect in one's vocation is nothing else than to perform the duties and offices to which one is obliged, solely for the honor and love of God, referring all to His glory. Whoever works in this manner may be called perfect in his state, a man according to the heart and will of God (St. Francis de Sales). (A year with the Saints, Sisters of Mercy, p. 8).

And, the third:

All the science of the Saints is included in these two things: To do, and to suffer. And whoever has done these two things best, has made himself most saintly (St. Francis de Sales). (A year with the Saints, Sisters of Mercy, p.11).

When we visit with family, it can be difficult at times because of all the hurts from the past that may come up. But, in our case towards the end of our trip we began to see the hidden graces of our journey together.

St. Gregory, St. Bernard, and St. Charles stated "that we must act in this like travelers who do not regard the road they have gone over, but, rather, what remains for them to traverse - and this they keep always before their eyes, even to their journey's end" (p. 2).

Lucille Everett

Feast of the Transfiguration

Our Children Teach - God the Father and His Children

The Lord calls us to become like little children:

"At this time the disciples came to Jesus and said, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven?' So he called a little child to him whom he set among them. Then he said, 'In truth I tell you, unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. And so, the one who makes himself as little as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven."
Matthew 18:1-4

As Catholic Fathers and Catholic Mothers, we can begin to discover the yearning, or a burden, that is placed upon our heart to meditate and eventually contemplate our relationships with our own children.

Lately, this prayerful meditation and contemplation has yielded some fruit.

That is, in contemplating my fatherly love for our children along with the almost infinite number of times we need to correct and discipline them, I am discovering how it is that God the Father looks at us in His love.

No matter how many times we need to get down on our knees before Jesus Christ present in the priest to confess our sins, God the Father still loves us.

His look of love towards us His children is much deeper than our own look of love for our own children. In His love, he has given us His Son, Jesus Christ, in the Most Blessed Sacrament to feed us, heal us, and sustain us (John 6:25-71).

With this realization has come the slow but oncoming dawn of realization: God the Father truly loves us as His children!

He accepts us as we are in all of our woundedness and brokenness. And, just as we are with our own children, He does not excuse us from responsibility for our behaviour!

The key for us is to learn about our relationship with God the Father via our relationship with our children. As Catholic Fathers and Catholic Mothers, our family relationships are one of the key paths we can walk to grow our relationship with Him Who Loves us.

John Everett

Feast of John Marie Vianney

What we hear says a lot about them ...

As Catholics, we are approaching the Liturgical Season of Advent ... that is, the season where we prepare for the Birth of Jesus Christ at Christmas.

There is a Child coming home soon, so we must prepare. We must clean out the places the child will rest and eventually toddle around and get into mischief in.

For the first born, there are things like the room or space for the child, the crib, clothes, and perhaps some study with close friends who already have children to prepare.

The season of Advent truly follows a close parallel to the beginning of the human cycle of life for both the parents and the child.

For first time parents, the season of Advent takes on a whole new meaning when we take the time to meditate on the mysteries presented to us during the first part of the Advent season.

It becomes very easy to "connect the dots".

As Catholics, we should be very mindful of that parallel, as there are many distractions now coming out in our midst that try to get us to focus on the actual Birth and the "gift giving" aspects. Lost are the patient working at preparation and waiting for the child.

It becomes imperative that we make an act of the will to deny those distractions, and plead with the Holy Spirit to help us maintain a spirit of preparation. For example, it may mean tuning out some of the Christian radio or Internet streaming stations that are now starting to play Christmas Carols.

In discernment, the distractions must go. And, we must prepare an explanation for our children. Why are we not allowing Christmas related music and articles into the house until Christmas Day or just before that?

For parents who encouraged the second child and subsequent children to be involved in the pregnancy of their younger siblings, it will not be too hard for the children to make the connection.

Remember, December 26th will see all of those "distractions" disappear ... and so too the Christmas music, so the effort will then need to be in celebrating the Octave and further, the 12 Days of Christmas. It will be up to us to carry Him into the world after His birth, to share Him with the world.

Have a Happy and Holy Advent!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

John Everett

From the Mouth of Babes: Jesus and Toast

Jesus Likes Toast

Jesus paid our 3.5 year old Anne-Marie a visit in her room.

So, she "sat" him down and they broke bread together.

You shall know Him in the breaking of the bread. Luke 24:35

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

John Everett

On the breast of Christ

How many of us truly believe that we are loved?

How many of us, especially those of us who have been abused in so many ways, can truly see and know that we can rest our head on the breast of Christ as the disciple John did?

It is truly a sign of healing, and the Touch of Christ, when we can allow ourselves to shed tears and slowly allow our head to be held to His breast.

The healing has reached even deeper when we can "feel" His hands and arms wrapping themselves around us so that we can truly rest in His Love for us.

And, with the tenth leper we pray, "Thank You my most gracious healer. Thank you for loving me whole again."

Praised be Jesus Christ, the Lord and Giver of our lives! :D

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

John Everett

The Silence is Deafening and Deadly

Sometimes Love needs to be tough. This is one of them...

A number of decades ago one could hear a rally cry, "I am woman, hear me roar!"

It was the cry of Western Feminism. Indeed, we heard that cry from all corners of Western society. How vocal they were!

Women worked hard to establish themselves as equals within their respective society.

Today, Western Feminism is still around, but strangely silent in the face of our sisters who are being persecuted in the Middle East and other areas of the world.

Daily, many women in Middle Eastern countries face persecution. From genital mutilation, to being held culpable for a man's lust by being forced to cover her entire self as if she were something evil. Just let her try and raise her voice in some form of protest to protect herself and see what kind of reprisals, possibly even death, she would have to endure.

Lately, the persecution has turned deadly. Key women in Afghanistan who have been advocating for women's education, equality, and freedom from violence have been murdered. They faced down their oppressors by continuing on with their advocacy for equality every day. It cost them their lives.

Again, our Western feminists are quiet in the face of all this.

Where is Western Feminism's rallying cry for their sisters in the Middle East now?

That silence has turned deadly.

But then, it has been deadly since Roe hasn't it?

Ah!

Perhaps we have stumbled upon Western Feminism's Sacred Cow. Our sisters in the Middle East cherish all life within the womb don't they?

Tough questions coming back to the Western Feminist from her sister in the Middle East no?

God have mercy on us for our complicity in the deaths of our sisters we do not support and in the deaths of the innocent within the womb. Their blood screams to Heaven for justice!

Western Feminism, where is thy equality now?

Oh how thou must bow before thy Sacred Cow!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

John E.

When Life meets Death

I just recently caught a glimpse of an article in a Catholic newspaper that indicated a Western Canadian Bishop by the name of Bishop Fred Henry had withdrawn his support for the Calgary based Canadian Centre for Bioethical Reform.

The reason he had withdrawn his support? Because of a campaign the organization was waging that had huge pictures of aborted fetuses.

The campaign is called the Genocide Awareness Project (GAP). And, it equates abortion with genocide.

His premise was based on the dignity of the human person. The images violate their human dignity. They deny the respect due them he said.

Why would we show images of dismembered and destroyed children to bring a "Pro-Life" point across? How are images of "death" "Pro-Life"?

The GAP campaign really is no different than the daily news, or the steady stream of violence in the media. Our children, even more so than us, are being conditioned to see this kind of violence via many different types of video/arcade/computer games, extremely violent and gory movies and more. This type of campaign will not phase them or most of us for that matter.

It is time to take a deep breath, and offer a prayer of supplication to Our Lady for guidance in the Pro-Life cause.

Who better to turn to than the Lady who carried Our Lord for nine months to discover where we truly need to focus our energies: The beauty of motherhood and pregnancy.

It will be our attitude as Catholic and Christian men towards motherhood and pregnancy that will be an instrument of conversion.

Our attitude towards our wives when they are pregnant is a very important witness to the love we have for them and Our Lady. It clearly demonstrates our awe and respect for the Gift of New Life.

Our attitude towards the women around us who are pregnant directly reflects our love for Our Lady. Any pregnant woman will know right away that our smile and offer of assistance was totally genuine and out of respect for them and for the Gift of New Life within.

Our attitude towards any woman must reflect our love for Our Lady. It must be chaste!

We Christian men must counter the culture that nurtures the attitude that life is disposable.

We must counter the culture that teaches that a woman's body is an object. The attitude of the "person as object" and the lack of personal dignity makes the decision to end a pregnancy with a "procedure" easy with little or no thought to the consequences.

Our attitude, as men of God, towards women will impact the Pro-Life cause.

The Catholic Register article: Pro-life group loses Calgary bishop's support.

Pax vobis (peace be with you),

John Everett.

Blog Update

We have pretty much finished the migration over to the new Blogger.

We will be retiring the old subject specific blogs.

Hope it wasn't too annoying having most of our posts come up in your reader again! We cleaned up the old references, and set tags to everything.

Hopefully we will be blessed with some time to actually start posting on a somewhat regular basis!

Pax vobis (peace be with you)

John E.

A simple night time prayer before bed for children

We have a simple prayer that we pray with our children just before we say our final, "Good night".

It is offered in the form of cant/response. Lucille and/or I say it first, then Anne-Marie repeats it. Raymond is still too young yet, but he does become quiet and quite rapt during the prayer.

It goes like this:

• Sign of the Cross +
• Thank You Jesus
• I love You Jesus
• Thank You God the Father
• I love You God the Father
• Thank You Holy Spirit
• I love you Holy Spirit
• Thank you Mary
• I love you Mary
• Thank you St. Joseph
• I love you St. Joseph
• Thank you Holy Angels
• I love you Holy Angels
• Thank you Holy Saints
• I love you Holy Saints
• Thank You Jesus for Momma and Papa
• Thank You Jesus for Raymond (siblings)
• Thank You Jesus for today
• Thank You Jesus for ...(anything to be thankful for)
• Thank You Jesus
• I love You Jesus
• Sign of the Cross +

A hug and a kiss and, "Good night".

Pax vobis (peace be with you),

John Everett.

Blog upgrade to the new Blogger

Hi,

After all of this time, we have upgraded the blog to the new Blogger interface.

It will probably mean some work to restructure everything as we can now use the Tags feature instead of the complexity of multiple blogs for each category.

We haven't quite decided yet.

We are still around. Please pray for us as life has thrown quite a number of curve balls at us, along with being all around hectic!

Pax vobis (peace be with you),

John Everett.

Marriage, Wounds, and the Healing of the Paralytic in Luke 5:17-26

The following is the Gospel reading from the First Monday in Advent, Luke 5:17-26:

"...some men appeared, bringing on a bed a paralyzed man whom they were trying to bring in and lay down in front of him [Jesus]. But as they could find no way of getting the man through the crowd, they went up onto the top of the house and lowered him and his stretcher down through the tiles into the middle of the gathering, in front of Jesus. Seeing their faith he said, 'My friend, your sins are forgiven you.' ... he [Jesus] said to the paralyzed man-'I order you: get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home.' And immediately before their very eyes he got up, picked up what he had been liking on and went home praising God."

There are many aspects of this Gospel reading that relate directly to our marital relationship in the face of our deep seated wounds.

The Decision

There are two ways we can deal with our spouse's wounds and their flare ups:

1. We can react out of our own wounds. More than likely, depending on the power of our reaction, there will be even more hurt and pain. This can lead to a cycle that can be very deadly to the marriage relationship.
2. We can respond out of love and understanding, swallow our pride, and accept our spouse in their woundedness. This is not accepting the wounds, this is realizing that what we are experiencing is someone operating out of theirs, and that it is the person that we love. They are in need!

In the first case, it is virtually impossible to reach the same decision the four men did for the paralytic, to reach down and pick our spouse up, and work our rear ends off to bring them before Jesus for healing.

In the second case, our response not only holds the promise of healing for our spouse, we are responding to the powerful Sacramental Grace blessed upon us by Jesus in Marriage: We are truly being the presence of Christ for them.

The Responsibility

As our relationship develops and grows, we get to know the deep seated wounds in our spouse. We get to know what triggers their pain and just how powerful they hurt in those wounds.

This is a huge responsibility! With knowledge comes power. We can use this knowledge for the good of our spouse, that is, working and praying for their healing. Or, we can use that knowledge for an evil purpose: Pushing their buttons, deliberately saying or doing things that trigger those wounds to inflict as much damage in them as we can.

The paralytic was completely vulnerable and at the mercy of passersby. There was no way to avoid the cruel boots of individuals who lashed out at them. There was no way to earn a living so as to meet the basic needs of life without the few coins that would be tossed their way.

When we are immersed in our wounds, in the deepest hurts of our lives, we too are vulnerable. What do we do with this vulnerability? Both our own and our spouse's?

The Effort

There is a lot that goes unsaid in this story. There are four, FOUR, men who went out of their way to befriend a helpless individual. There is an understated relationship, a deep friendship, that these five share.

There are four men who carried this paralyzed man to the place where Jesus was with full knowledge that Jesus would heal him.

It was this knowledge, this faith, that gave them the strength to carry him all the way to the place Jesus was, but not only that, to then move around to where they could climb with him onto the roof of the houses, walk precariously across the roofing tiles (not too stable), and then work at lifting the tiles off of the roof to make a hole big enough to lower the paralytic down.

This is the kind of effort that it sometimes can take for us to carry our spouse in their woundedness. The deeper the wounds, the more patient, gentle, kind, loving, and strong we need to be for them. The deeper the wounds, the greater the effort we need to put into bringing them before Jesus.

The deeper the wounds, the more we will need to endure the behaviours they trigger over time. It may have been a great distance that the four men had to carry the paralytic man, but they did it. We have committed ourselves to our spouse for life. There is no greater distance than this, no greater commitment to another than this. We must endure, we must pray for the grace to endure, and for the hope that we need to overcome.

The Faith

"Seeing their faith he said, 'My friend, your sins are forgiven you.'" v.20

It was their faith that lead to this man's healing!!!

So too is the Sacramental Grace that we carry in us for our spouse. We may not physically carry our spouse to Mass, or to the Adoration Chapel with our Lord in the Tabernacle, or to Jesus Exposed on the Alter, but the effort to carry them in our heart to these places where Jesus waits for us is just as intense, if not more so!

It is our faith in the healing power of Jesus Christ that will be instrumental in our spouse's journey to healing. The carrying of the paralytic to Jesus was a team effort, and so too is our Marital Relationship.

Our encouraging words, our patient endurance, our ongoing prayer to draw them deeper into the Healing Heart of Christ, our silence in the face of adversity, will make clear the faith that is the foundation of our marriage and relationship with each other.

The Christ

When it is me operating out of my wounds, I must make every effort to be open to the healing graces offered by Christ to me through my spouse.

That grace is available to me.

When operating out of my wounds, in the aftermath of my vocal outbursts, the fresh wounds on their heart, the Heart of Christ, are there. When my thoughts were motivated by pain and hurt and I lash out within, there lies the Crown of Thorns on their head, the head of Christ. When my actions, with my hands and instruments within them, lash out and strike my spouse and wounds their body, it is the Body of Christ.

The Embrace

The paralytic responded to the four men. Despite his wounds, his helplessness, and his being completely impoverished he allowed them into his life and heart. He embraced their friendship and their acceptance of him.

Likewise, the four men looked beyond the physical deformities to the person within. They embraced him in all of his woundedness. And, when the opportunity arose for them to serve him by bringing him before Jesus, they literally jumped at the chance.

When we made our vows to each other before God and our community, we were serious about it. There were no doubts that we were called to be together for the rest of our lives. We embraced both the good and the bad in each other.

The Beautiful Healing Grace in Marriage

There is a special grace given to us in the Sacrament of Marriage: It is to see the truly beautiful person deep within our spouse. When we embrace this beautiful person within, we become instrumental in bringing that person out to the surface.

When we work as hard as the four men did for the paralytic to give our spouse the love and attention that they need, to carry them when they are down, the grace will be there for us to bring our spouse before Jesus repeatedly in a prayer for the Grace of Healing. We will have the fortitude needed to endure the trials and tribulations that are bound to happen due to inner hurts and wounds in the both of us.

"And immediately before their very eyes he got up, picked up what he had been
lying on and went home praising God." v.25

When we do experience the healing touch of Jesus, we must turn to our spouse and thank them for their prayer and support. We must thank Jesus for the gift of this awesome person who carries us when we are down and out, who bears our wrongs patiently, and who encourages us to embrace the healing being offered to us through them by Jesus.

We must turn to the Lord and thank Him for bringing this great gift of our spouse into our lives.

We must also thank the Lord for the Gift of His Suffering, Death, and Resurrection. For it is ultimately in Him and His life, that we discover how to be whole and holy.

It is Jesus Who heals us.

The Prayer

Thank You Jesus, for the gift of our spouse.

Thank You Jesus, for the gift of the Sacrament of Marriage and the great number of Graces you have lavished upon us through it.

Thank You Jesus, for Your healing Love.

Bless us Lord with the healing we need. Help us to grow in wholeness and holiness. Help us to found our marital relationship totally on You.

Be with us Lord in our struggles and wounds. Teach us to embrace the Cross and struggle our way to Calvary with You.

Thank You Jesus, for hearing our cries and our pleas!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

John E.

Justice ... Some Food for Thought

A letter written to the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace:

Hello,

I offer this letter to you as some food for thought.

I am a convert to the Catholic Faith. My conversion was in the summer of 1988 and I was welcomed to the Catholic Family at the Easter Vigil of 1989.

I come from a background of no faith, and many forms of being abused by my biological parents as well as many others.

Jesus has taught me the meaning of Justice and fairness. He has brought priests and lay people into my life that helped to develop my sense of Justice.

I see that our Church is very much on the forefront of Justice for the Poor, the helpless, the Unborn, and others.

However, there is currently a situation of injustice at the hands of one bishop towards his priests in a diocese here in Canada. One of the priests affected by this is someone very instrumental in bringing me closer to Christ, and is the key to the healing of my person.

I trust him implicitly and explicitly with myself, and with my young family.

He is not capable of doing what he has been accused of. His bishop has not given him any form of due process canonically or civilly. I ask you, is this Just?

I do not believe so, and it is a cause of great scandal to me to see the pain and anguish an innocent priest is being put through by his Bishop.

I realize that you may not have anything to do with this process, as I believe it is the C.D.F. that takes care of these things.

However, I still need you to understand that there is something happening right now in our own Church, the false accusation of priests, their faculties removed, and then their being laicized without due process that is a cause of great scandal to those of us who know these priests.

It breaks my heart.

Peace to you in Jesus and Mary,

J.

We speak metaphorically about pendulums when we look at many things. It swings one way, then back the other way, eventually settling down in the centre. When it comes to justice for our priests, the pendulum has swung very far in the other direction.

The current "justice" system's application when a priest is "accused" by certain members of the episcopate is cruel and unjust. Period. Having to minister in an environment where one false whisper can trap a priest in this situation is unjust. Imagine living with that kind of pressure in your day job. How many of us would keep it?

I do hope and pray that we are better able to deal justly with those accused, and with those who level the accusations. I do hope that we can better facilitate the healing and forgiveness that is needed to mend this terrible wound on the Heart of our Mother the Church, Her priests.

Pax vobis (Peace be with you)

J.E.

The Sacrament of Marriage - Graces to be had in Illness and Suffering

This week has been an amazing challenge for the Everett family. Other than Raymond Kolbe who is breastfeeding, Lucille, Anne-Marie, and myself were hit with a really bad stomach bug.

Anne-Marie was fortunate in that her case was mild. This is good, due to Lucille's concerns with a little one's hydration levels.

Lucille and I on the other hand were not. Sparing the grueling details, we were emptied completely on Wednesday. Myself over the afternoon and evening, and Lucille over the late evening and all night.

When we encounter this type of illness, extremely intense, but temporary, we have a very serious set of decisions to make.

• Is this suffering going to be redemptive? That is, do I make an act of my will to give my suffering as a small offering to Jesus on the Cross?
• Am I conscious of the Sacramental grace that I have as husband, wife, or child - yes, children have a special kind of sharing in the Sacramental graces of Marriage - to accept the "Duty of the Moment" which is to suffer and offer sacrifice for my family?
• Do I accept the suffering with gentleness and humility or do I get cranky and frustrated?
• When both husband and wife are down with the illness, do I focus in on myself and refuse to go beyond my own pains and take that extra step to help out when asked?
  
• Do I go beyond my own pain and offer to help when I see a need?
• And finally, if I fail and cause even more hurt, do I reach out in humility and plead for forgiveness from my wife, husband, and/or children?

When both husband and wife are down, it can be extremely difficult to run the household.

On the one hand, we have a two and a half year old that needs to be constantly cuddled because she is both sick herself and has never seen both her parents in this state at the same time. And on the other, a five month old who is breastfeeding, teething, and has his ongoing needs to have something to keep him occupied, position changes, etc.

This certainly can be a recipe for disaster if our focus was inwards, that is on ourselves only.

We have the graces to conquer these trials in our Sacrament of Marriage. These graces are lavished upon us by God the Father through the Sacrament to help us deal with extremely difficult trials.

He gives us the grace to:

• Make that act of the will to make this suffering redemptive.
• Get beyond my own suffering and reach out to my wife/husband and children in their need.
• Have the energy from virtually nowhere to accomplish the most important tasks to keep us functioning like heating up the chicken soup!
• Reach out to those around us to help out with things like bringing in groceries specific to our illness needs.
• Remember that even our recovery time is redemptive.

There are so many more graces to discover in our Sacrament.

During the most violent part of the illness, I made a point of making sure that Lucille knew that I was offering all of my suffering for her by telling her outright. I wanted her to know, that even in the midst of my most weakest and helpless state, that I was focused on offering this suffering for her. I wanted her to see in my eyes that this was, for me, an offering of one of the deepest forms of love and grace that I could offer for her: My suffering.

The offering of my suffering for her went a long way in helping me to eventually accept gracefully the suffering that came my way. I started off a bit on the cranky side. :D

The offering of our suffering for our family can help us to focus in on the graces that the Father has waiting for us through our Marital Sacrament. We can learn a number of lessons in humility and explore some of our human limitations.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the gift of suffering. Thank you for the gift of graces that you give us in the Sacrament of marriage. Thank you for drawing us closer to Jesus Your Son in our suffering. Father, help us to give glory to your name in the midst of our suffering just as Jesus did. Help us to embrace our Cross, to carry it with dignity, and to allow ourselves to be nailed to it when you deem it our time.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, envelop us in your Wound.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, keep us warm in the Fire of Your Love.

Thank You Jesus, praise You Jesus, glory to You Jesus!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

J.E.

When is too busy too busy?

When our business/work takes over our lives.

When we don't see our spouse and children for days on end.

When we don't take the time to centre on Jesus and on His Word in our lives.

When we loose our spiritual perspective on our life due to the lack of prayer.

When we give in to those little temptations that we no longer have the spiritual strength to ignore.

Those are some aspects of just how crazy things have been for me lately.

Please pray for us, that I can slow down to spend time with my family and not loose my relationships with them due to my absence.

Where is Jesus Christ in all of this? Standing right beside me waiting for me to turn to Him for help.

Pax vobis (peace be with you),

J.E.

Surfacing for air...

Not long after our last post in April, the lady that we are renting our space from for our business announced that she would be moving her business within the next couple of months.

Needless to say we have been extremely busy.

On a trip to pay a bill I ended up in front of a location for our business that was way out of the way from my original destination.

Lucille and I are both convinced that the Lord wanted us there.

Please pray for us!

Moving the business while trying to maintain our level of client service is very difficult. It is also extremely expensive for a small company like ours.

Once the dust settles, we will get back to posting!

Meanwhile, here is a shot of Raymond Kolbe:


He is truly a neat little guy! Lucille and he are doing really well. He has gone through at least 4 growth spurts aready!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

J.E.

We have a new addition to our family!!!

Hello all!

We were blessed to have Raymond Kolbe join our family on Saturday, April 8, 2006 around 10:25AM. He weighed in at 8 pounds 13 ounces (about 3997 grams).

The delivery went well, and both Lucille and the baby are doing very well.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Pax vobis (Peace be with you),

J.E.

False alarm, a trip to the Hospital and still no baby

Please pray for us, we are very weary.

We headed in to the hospital with the thought that Lucille's water may have broken and we were going to be introduced to Pitou.

After over three hours of monitoring, it turned out not to be the case.

Our due date is April 11.

Thanks,

John.

The Desert, Sin, and the Death of the Senses

One analogy that can be used to facilitate this meditation on our continued journey in the desert, is our experience of having spent a number of hours, or days on a boat. Once we get back to dry land, we will still "experience" the motions of the boat while on land for a number of hours, or even days depending on how long we spent in it.

Another analogy that can be used is a long trip via car. After spending 8 or 10 hours on the road, when one finally comes to their destination, one still "experiences" being in motion even though we are no longer in the car.

We in the West live in a society where certain factions go to great efforts to over stimulate us. Our spirits and senses are forever being bombarded by the many forms of media with one message or another. We have become so accustomed to this stimulation, that we now take that stimulation with us in the form of personal music players, personal DVD players, DVD players in the car, televisions in every room - even in the car! Ear buds in the ears, little view screens before the eyes, big view screens and surround sound at home, PDAs, cell phones, and constant contact devices, all provide to maintain our level of ongoing stimulation. Neither our personal or our professional lives are exempt from over stimulation.

All of this stimulation can be a very subtle seduction of our heart, mind, and spirit. The seductive intent is purely to draw us away from ever allowing us to enter into the desert, thus into a deeper relationship with Jesus, to provide a vehicle for us to run away from the desert, or in some way be our "Mirage".

Much like that ongoing motion that we experience after a long trip on the road, when we enter into the desert our perpetual stimulation has a "momentum" all to itself. The absence of the sources of our over stimulation will perhaps go unnoticed due to the fact that we still experience that stimulation within our heart, mind, and spirit. All of the visual, auditory, sensual elements are there for us at our imagination's "fingertips".

From the introduction to St. John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul:

What is really at stake in the spiritual journey to union with God is an ongoing work of purification, a cleansing of all that is repugnant to God's holiness. Collected Works p. 355 (Kavanaugh & Rodriguez)

The very specific Desert Call that we are focusing on here is one that requires a form of brutal honesty with ourselves. It is realizing how we have allowed ourselves to be immersed in all of the over stimulation, the "noise" if you will, in our daily lives thus leaving no room for God.

While in the desert, if we are attentive, the Holy Spirit will give us gentle inspirations to guide us towards the elements that make up our environment of over stimulation. We will be given insight into the methods that we can use to gain control over our heart, mind, and spirit.

When we speak of the senses, here are the traditional 5:

1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Touch
4. Smell
5. Taste
   

We must remember, that everything we see, hear, touch, smell, and taste will also have spiritual consequences. It is for this reason, that when we have journeyed deeper into the desert and received the call of the Holy Spirit to purify our senses, we must find ourselves a spiritual director (SD).

With the help of an unbiased mind and heart in our SD, we will be able to work our way through the various sources of stimulation and begin to put limits on their place in our lives. These limits will help to clear a way for us to give time to our relationship with God. A neat benefit of this process is the discovery of more time for those around us! Our SD and the limits we set together will also help us to deal with the effects of the "momentum" the sources of over stimulation have.

From The Three Ages of the Interior Life by Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange O.P. (Volume 1 p.285):

The mortification of all that is inordinate in us is necessary:

1. because of the consequences of original sin;
2. because of the results of our personal sins;
3. because of the infinite elevation of our supernatural end;
4. because we must imitate our crucified Lord.

Everything has its time and place (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). In a marital relationship, one must live a life of service to their partner. One must make great efforts to build and maintain that relationship. If not, the marriage would surely die in divorce.

Just like a marital relationship, if we do not spend the time that the Holy Spirit is calling us to on letting go of all of the over stimulation of our senses, our relationship with God will die. We will experience the spiritual divorce of mortal sin.

Prayer: Father, thank You for the grace You have given us to enter deeper into our desert journey. Thank You for calling our attention to the things in our life that distract us from spending time with You and those that we love.

Thank You Jesus for giving us Your example. Thank You for first journeying into the desert to show us the way to be purified from those things that take us away from You. Jesus, help us to give over our wills one hundred percent to this purification process. Help us to discover the gifts that You have in store for us as we journey in the desert.

Jesus, in Your Divine Merciful Love, purify us of all that is not of You.
Jesus, in Your Divine Merciful Love, purify us of all that is not of You.
Jesus, in Your Divine Merciful Love, purify us of all that is not of You.

Holy Spirit, please keep inspiring us with the Light of Christ! Illuminate in us all that needs to be purged in order for us to be perfect vessels of Your Love! Grant us the grace to embrace this purgation!

*

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Further Lenten Desert meditations:
The Desert, Sin, and the Tangible Loss of Grace
The Desert, Sin, and the PPP Temptations
The Desert, Sin, and the "Great Mirage"