The drawback to having to work so much is that I get up and leave before our little one gets up (she is 17 months now) and come home after she has gone to bed.
Yesterday afternoon and this afternoon Lucille and Anne-Marie stopped by to say hello. When I came out the back door into the parking lot where they were waiting in the car, Anne-Marie's eyes lit up and she started squealing ecstatically. Lucille's comment was that I was Anne-Marie's superstar!
I have had what can be called a very colourful past. Unfortunately that involves many types of sometimes very violent abuse that happened in a variety of different ways. So, one of the most difficult steps that I have had to make in the Journey is to trust and let go to God.
What does this have to do with Anne-Marie's ecstasy you ask? I still haven't connected the dots between her very deep and innocent love for me and the very deep and redemptive love that Jesus has for me.
To me, our little one is teaching us a very important lesson. I am loved just as I am, unconditionally. And, every time I turn back to our Lord after I have committed sin, or after a struggle with depression, or whatever I had done to turn away, I get the same kind of ecstatic joyful reception from our Lord.
"In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing among the angels of God over one repentant sinner!" Says Jesus in Luke 15:7.Perhaps another two part gift of teaching from our little one is this: I still have a long way to go towards abandoning myself in trust to the Lord, which leads to the realization that I still have barriers between me and my family as well as my Lord.
How do I come to these last two? I am still resistant to the Truth that I am very much loved.
Pax vobis,
J.E.
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