Sleepless

Ever have a night where you wake up and your mind just won't stop throwing things at you?
Ever have a night where you wake up and not only your mind is throwing things at you but your body and spirit is too?
These especially when what woke you was some powerful dream?

Tonight is one of those for me. After spending some time praying to gain control, I got hit with a series of memories from my pre-teen and early teen years.

I used to get night terrors from about 10 years until I was about 14. These terrors did not stop when I woke, but continued into my waking world with a terrible presence in my room and an inability to breath. I was told by my mother to pray, but I didn't really know what that meant at the time.

Because of the terrors, I learned to shut down any and all access to dreams. I did not dream at all after that.

About a year after my conversion in 1989, my first spiritual director Father John and I spent some time on this. He prayed over and blessed me for the healing of my mind, body, and spirit so that I would learn to be open to dreaming again. We spent a lot of time on two points in Scripture: Matthew 1:20 where it came to Joseph in a dream that he was not to dismiss Mary, but to take her as his wife; and Matthew 2:13 where again in a dream Joseph was called to take Mary and Jesus into Egypt in order to keep them safe from harm.

I learned to trust that Jesus would protect me as I opened up again and I eventually began to have dreams again. Most were good, a few spoke to me about current circumstances, some made absolutely no sense at all, and some where disturbing. Whatever the dream, I always brought them to prayer and spiritual direction.

Today, it is rare that I remember my dreams. When I do, I will sometimes write it down if it was still clear enough (I started journaling just after my conversion). I would then spend time in prayer asking Jesus if the dream had any significance or not, discern it with Lucille, and bring it up with my spiritual director. If the dream was not clear, I would generally let it go.

It was in a dream several years before I met Lucille, that I saw the silhouette of a lady in a second floor window holding a white fluffy cat. I could tell by the silhouette that the lady had long hair and that she somehow carried a weight of significance for my life, but that was about it. It turned out that Lucille had a white fluffy Persian cat that she was very fond of around the same time that I had that dream! Lucille also has beautiful long and dark hair! The Lord works in mysterious ways eh?

I also know, that in those times where I catch some form of glimpse into my dream world, that I usually have had an excellent sleep that night! Tonight, and nights like this are the exception to the norm.

Lord Jesus, we pray for those who suffer from some form of insomnia. Bless them with sleep, bless them with a deep resting place in their dreams. Lord Jesus, please deliver those who suffer night terrors! Bless them with Your peace and send your Archangel St. Michael to protect and guard them from all harm. Thank You Jesus for hearing our prayer.

Pax vobis,

J.E.