Monday, October 10, 2005

Lucille - Romance - The Date

Yes, we women do like to be "wooed" don't we. Before John and I got married it was easy, we could go out whenever we wanted and where we wanted, we were free! It was not very difficult for John to 'woo' me. Once we got married it was still pretty easy to go on a date. As time went by as a married couple, we had our first child and now another child on the way so the arrangements to actually go on a date turn into a totally different scenario that takes a little extra effort to get a babysitter, pump some milk if I am breast feeding etc...
It is so very important to go out as a married at least once a month and to make it an outing priority #1 in front of going out with friends or family even if it just for an hour walk or a two hour movie. At times when things get busy with work, it is amazing how just a walk for a half hour or more rejuvenated my relationship with John. With kids around, I think it is really easy not to make the effort to go out alone as a couple.
I think part of that comes from feeling very secure in your married relationship which is not a bad thing of course but I feel it can be a bad thing if the relationship is not being properly nurtured. Sometimes we may not realize the effects lack of nurturance can have on the relationship. Slowly, we pull away from each other, the affection dwindles, communication breaks down. We just don't have fun together. The relationship becomes stagnant, motionless and doesn't grow. I think that this is an area where a women is more sensitive in detecting the stagnancy of the relationship but of course not always.
For me (and I think a lot of women are the same), I need to feel close to my husband on all aspects of my being, the emotional, spiritual, and physical. The first two are what nurtures the physical. I need to have time to only focus on him without the distraction of our sweet child. I can compare this to having an hour each week in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I also need time alone with Jesus and feel close to Him and that is number 1 next to my husband.
I can still remember a priest from our parish telling us when we were engaged to always keep that spirit of courtship that we possessed as engaged couple alive and to carry it into our marriage. I understand his statement so much better now. When we were engaged I felt like we would always remember this feeling and love we had but I know now it takes a lot of work to keep it going further and deeper into the marriage.
Our date was great as always. We talked, laughed, and held each during a very good but intense movie. I am looking forward to our next date.


Here is John's point of view.

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