Chivalry 101 - A Husband's Brief Guide (or Future Husband)

I must admit that I take the call of Jesus to sacrifice one's self for their bride, especially as presented by St. Paul, quite literally when it comes to the way I treat Lucille. It is, in my heart, very important for me as a husband to work very hard to make sure she knows that I am thinking about her, that she is indeed the centre of my life - right beside Jesus Christ.

The Scriptures talk about being faithful in the little things before being rewarded with greater things. And, on the flip side, I have heard it said that it is ultimately the little things that kill a marriage. The latter point I have heard first hand from a number of people whose marriage unfortunately did not make it.

Then there is the sense that I have of the relationship between Our Lady and St. Joseph. Remember, St. Joseph carries those lilies for a reason! His heart was pure, and he remained a virgin until his death. Thus the lilies in the hand of the most gracious gentleman in human history. But also consider that he lived with, worked for, and protected one of the most beautiful Women in human history, the Mother of our Lord!

If single, then Our Lady should figure prominently as the model of how to treat the ladies around you. Treat them as you would treat Our Lady. If married, then the eyes and heart of St. Joseph should take prominence in the treatment of your wife.

Here are some practical suggestions of some of the little things that one can do to let your significant other know that they are loved and respected:

• Open any and all doors that you can for her.
• For a car that has a remote, unlock the doors, but still approach with her on the passenger side and open the door for her. This also gives you a chance to check the car to make sure it is safe. Once she is seated, close the door and make sure it is secure.
• If I am carrying Anne-Marie after we have gone together somewhere as a family, I will still open the door for Lucille and make sure she is seated comfortably before closing it.
• Drive safely while the family is in the car. They are the greatest treasures in the world. Drive safely when they are not in the car, we need to keep in mind that they need us to arrive home safe and sound. Take a defensive driving course.
• Make a point to put time aside for an evening date. Surprise her by making meal arrangements and perhaps researching a movie she would enjoy seeing. Arrange for the sitter if there is a need without her knowing. Candle-light dinners are a great way to cultivate the love and bond. Make a point to not talk about the kids if you have any!
• If artistically inclined, draw a little card with some words of love and devotion in it. If not, buy her a card that reflects who she is. Do this once in a while to let her know that she is thought of and loved.
• Every once in a while, not too regularly so that she can be surprised, buy her a dozen roses. If possible, bring them home when she is not around and arrange them for her so she will be pleasantly surprised.
• Cook a family meal on the weekend. If you don't know how to cook learn or take lessons. The lessons could be something that you do together too!
• After you have children, make a point to arrange to give her an afternoon off at least once a month. Have enough milk and anything that may be needed to keep the child(ren) comfortable. It will be good for her to get a break, and good for you as a father to bond with your child(ren).
• Once the kids are sleeping, put on a favourite song that you both enjoy and reach out to her and dance. Take dance lessons together, or join a dance club.
• Once the kids are sleeping, and you two are alone, take her hand and dance. Listen to your hearts for the music and rhythm of the dance.
• Or, cuddle up on the couch and sit quietly enjoying each other's presence. Watch the occasional movie together too.
• Hug her, kiss her, look into her eyes and show her with your eyes just how much you love her. Do this regularly, but not so much that you both become desensitized to the expression of love between you.
• (Slightly off topic and yet not) Start a tradition that the entire family hugs together! We call it a "Grug" or Group Hug. It's Grug time!
• Give her a hot rose oil foot massage. Those feet carry you and your children's entire world around on them. Take care of them!
• Give her your sweater or jacket if she is cold.
• When the cold season sets in, keep a blanket in the back seat of the car. On those cold evenings you can tuck the blanket around her legs and waist to keep her warm until the car is heated. If it is winter, you can wrap her up! She will appreciate this big time!
• Make a commitment to spend an hour a week in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament to pray for her and for your family. If a Perpetual Adoration Chapel is not available, there will likely be a parish around that is open for prayer in the afternoons on a Saturday or Sunday. Most pastors would be happy to accommodate a request to spend time in prayer at the church.
• If health permits, fast for her once a week.

There are many other ways that one can be a chivalrous man. Ultimately, to me, it is important to cultivate in my life the needs that are important to Lucille. That means making timely (as the Lord calls) sacrifices for Lucille.

E5Men is a site dedicated to fasting for the women in a man's life.

Here is a definition of chivalry.

05-11-04 Update

There are a couple of other items that came to me later. Both of them are very important:

• Help her with her to get her coat or sweater on.
• Affirm her. Make it a regular practice to tell her how good she is at being a great wife and mother.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Unless you become as a child...

While Anne-Marie was running around enjoying herself and playing this evening I was hit with what I would call a word of knowledge which developed into a contemplative moment.

I sensed the word, "in the womb". When I opened my heart to that word I saw in my contemplation a little ball embed itself into the womb and slowly develop into a little child. As the child grew I became aware of the little one's surroundings. There was the dim light from one side, the gurgling that was pretty much constant, the warmth of the fluid around the child and the resistance of that fluid as the limbs moved about in it. I sensed the child's deep spirit of peace. The little one was at home.

In the background of my mind and heart I've been chewing on that word and the contemplative moment for a few hours now. And here are some of the insights that the word and that moment have given me:

"At this time the disciples came to Jesus and said, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven?' So he called a little child to him whom he set among them. Then he said, 'In truth I tell you, unless you change and become like little children you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven. And so, the one who makes himself as little as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:1-4

Jesus says that we must become, "like little children" in order to receive the Kingdom of Heaven. And not only that, the more we become "little" like a child, the greater will be our reward in Heaven.

The vision takes this call of Jesus one step further. For, the little one in the womb is indeed the littlest of all children. The child in the womb is dependent on their mother for absolutely everything. The umbilical cord brings nourishment and removes any wastes. The fluid in the womb provides an excellent buffer zone to protect the child from possible hurt. Along with the gurgling, the mother's heart beat would provide a constant and rhythmic sound in the child's environment. That heart beat would be filled with love for that child.

This image brings to mind the spiritual and mystical relationship that St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. John Marie Vianney, and many others like them had with God. They lived in total relationship with God, completely abandoning themselves to Him. God provided their sole source of nourishment, He cleansed them with the Blood of Jesus to remove the waste of sin, and God provided their purpose in life. Like the little one's utter dependence upon their mother while in the womb, the saints recognized their complete and utter dependence on God.

The saints were almost completely at peace with their life because they recognized that God's hand was there. Like the little one in the womb, God's hand may not have been readily apparent, but, like that same child in the womb, they trusted fully that He was indeed working in them. Even in the midst of the deepest of struggles and depths of aridity in their spiritual lives, they still maintained a thread of connection with their God. The umbilical cord!

And, like the child growing in the womb, the saints became supple to the working of the Holy Spirit to grow deeper in their relationship with God. They continued making decisions that led them deeper and deeper until it was time to be "born".

I am confident, that like parents who are ecstatic with their new little child that just came into the world, God, the saints, and the angels all greatly celebrate the arrival into Heaven of another child of God.

And finally, I sensed two calls from the Lord.

The first is to learn to abandon ourselves to Him. To embrace the humility and purity we need to be fully attached to Him.

In Psalm 46:10 we hear the Lord say, "be still and know that I am God". The second call from Jesus is to listen in the stillness of our own heart for the beating of His Most Sacred Heart. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,..."

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Madonna of Childbirth pray for us.

This is an image of the statue of the Madonna of Childbirth. The original is here.

Mary, you carried Jesus for nine months. You know first hand the worries and concerns of an expectant mother. Lucille is now 15 weeks into our pregnancy, Mary please intercede for her and for Pitou. You experienced giving birth to our Lord in a strange place with no outside help but St. Joseph. Pray for us to have a safe pregnancy and birth.

St. Joseph, please pray for me to be a good and holy husband and father. Help me to learn how you managed to provide for your little family. Teach me to have the same look of love that you had for Mary and Jesus. Teach me to be as obedient to God the Father as you were.

Thank you Mary and Joseph for your awesome witness to the graces to be found in family. Thank you both for being such great parents to Jesus.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Catholic Schools are Catholic?

I must admit, that even though our little ones are no where near school age the prospect of sending them to a "Catholic" school raises my hackles.

Why?

For one, a number of years ago I met someone at the local Folk Festival. When I struck up a conversation with her, we talked about what she was doing. She was, it turned out, a teacher in one of the local Catholic schools. I played dumb and asked her if that meant she was Catholic and she went to church. She said that she was a Catholic, did not go to church but that she did have a relationship with God. I changed the subject and basically small talked until we parted ways.

That scared me. What exactly does that mean for the children that she was supposed to be witnessing her Catholic faith to in the school?

For the good and holy Catholic friends of mine who have finished their education degree I am not so worried about. However, since I also worked for a few years in and around the Catholic school system after my conversion I certainly believe that my concern for the spiritual safety of my children are valid.

Today, friends of ours told us how their 9 year old has been affected by one of his teachers reading True Ghost Stories in the class. This is in a Catholic school! The teacher is going to read the entire book! He is having nightmares and some pretty scary spiritual experiences.

Our children need to be equipped to deal with Satan and his angels by fully embracing the Cross and Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ! Not fed garbage that takes them away from Him!

From the CCC:

2116 All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to "unveil" the future. Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.

2117 All practices of magic or sorcery, by which one attempts to tame occult powers, so as to place them at one's service and have a supernatural power over others - even if this were for the sake of restoring their health - are gravely contrary to the virtue of religion. These practices are even more to be condemned when accompanied by the intention of harming someone, or when they have recourse to the intervention of demons. Wearing charms is also reprehensible. Spiritism often implies divination or magical practices; the Church for her part warns the faithful against it. Recourse to so-called traditional cures does not justify either the invocation of evil powers or the exploitation of another's credulity.

"In him, in bodily form, lives divinity in all its fullness, and in him you too find your own fulfillment, in the one who is the head of every sovereignty and ruling force." Colossians 2:9-10

To me, a Catholic school should be focused on forming our children in the image of Jesus Christ. This means teaching them about the saints, teaching them about the Sacraments, teaching them to Adore the Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament, daily Mass, Scripture studies, the study of Patristics, modesty as they are gift to be shared with their future husband, wife, or kept for Christ, humility not self-esteem, the mystics and their methods of prayer, discernment of spirits, individual confession, spiritual direction by qualified priests, and most especially parental involvement in their studies, school, and spiritual life!

Is that too much to ask? Far be it for me to request a so called Catholic school teach my children to actually be a holy and faithful Catholic! (I am being only slightly facetious here) Bishops take note!

In my mind and heart the above ideal Catholic school would solve the vocations "crisis", the population decline "crisis", and maybe even improve the environment as the children would be learning to be good stewards of creation too! There would be so many other material and spiritual benefits!

Pray for our children who are in so called "Catholic" schools. Pray for our children who are being indoctrinated in the public schools. Pray for us parents who may have lost their perspective on who should be the most important in their lives and not the what. Pray for the teachers who try and buck the system by living a holy Catholic life in order to witness to their pupils. Pray for the teachers who knowingly or unknowingly bring Satan and his teachings into the school to poison our children.

Jesus, deliver us from evil please! Protect and guard us from the evil one and his minions!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

A Lesson in Reality

Sometimes I need a reality check. I think we all do to some degree or another.

I was researching a topic and stumbled upon a site that talks about Dissociative Disorders. They used to be called Multiple Personality Disorders.

That probably triggers a curiosity about the topic that I was researching eh? The research stemmed from something that I needed to do that was very difficult. It was essentially a letter to my past.

For the most part, through the healing grace of Jesus Christ, the strength and perseverance of my adoptive father (long story), the guidance and healing touch of two fantastic psychologists - one a priest and the other a layman (many years), and the support of some very close friends that I have come to heal much of my past.

You see, I still bear many physical scars on my body from the abuse that I experienced when I was growing up. They are a constant reminder of that past. I also bear the mental/emotional scars from the huge volume of emotional and verbal abuse that spanned many decades and still happens sometimes to this day. There were other forms of abuse as well.

So, I was kinda feeling sorry for myself, and falling into a depression.

I was jarred out of it when I came across the Dissociative Disorder site. Why? Because people who have these disorders experienced abuse on a magnitude exponentially beyond what I experienced.

The first thing that hit me when I found that site, was the need to pray, to plead, to beg God to protect people from being abused in any way. The next, was to reach out and share some of my experiences with the hope that others will find that hope! For, there is hope, and it is found in Jesus Christ, in finding a supportive friend or a group of friends, in good professional counseling and prescription drugs if need be, and in discovering that once the wounds were healed, those scars could be a source of comfort for others.

When we speak of walking in the footsteps of the Master, there are hundreds of thousands of us who have lived, are living, and will live the Cross, Passion, and eventually Death through the abuse we have experienced. And the hope: we will live the Resurrection!

Jesus, bless us with humility and gentleness. Thank You Jesus for the gift of this life, for indeed life is a gift.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Dissociative Disorder site I came across.
Speech of Mother Teresa of Calcutta to the National Prayer Breakfast, Whatsoever You Do...
That Scripture from her speech title is Matthew 25:31-46.

Readiness to Change

"All true Christian life ... must begin with a deep yearning to become a new man in Christ, and an inner readiness to 'put off the old man' [Eph. 4:22-24] - a readiness to become something fundamentally different." Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Pg. 3

That yearning, to one such as myself who was brought up with essentially no religion, was like the Psalm of David says,

"God, you are my God, I pine for you; my heart thirsts for you, my body longs for you, as a land parched, dreary and waterless." Psalm 63:1

Having just met Him (1988), I discovered that I was thirsty for God, indeed the ground of my being was deeply cracked and lifting, ever so parched because of His absence in my life.

I was a slave introduced to the possibility of freedom. I wanted so much to embrace and experience that freedom! I wanted to be a free man!

A strong desire must fill us to become different beings, to mortify our old selves and rearise as new men in Christ. This desire, this readiness to decrease so that 'He may grow in us,' is the first elementary precondition for the transformation in Christ. It is the primal gesture by which man reacts to the light of Christ that has reached his eyes: the original gesture directed to God." Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Pg. 5

Once the Light of Christ was seen by me, I ached for it to fill the huge dark void within me. How can I describe the darkness and that pain? I cannot.

But, my response was quick and sure: figure out as soon as possible, how I could have Him fill that void with His Light. That became my quest!

Our surrender to Christ implies a readiness to let Him fully transform us, without setting any limit to the modification of our nature under His influence." Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Pg. 5

I made a commitment to Him in those early days that had a few different facets. One was to open myself to Him as fully as I was capable so that I would become a saint! The second was to be brutally honest with Him, a select few around me, and myself. I had to be, or I would have ran away.

He truly blessed me for that commitment to Him, despite the many times I managed to run away!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Call of God

The full import of that Call addressed to the Christian is not always fully appreciated; what God expects from us is too often minimized and taken lightly. Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Intro. XX

What does God expect from us?

Jesus gave us the Golden Rule: Love God with my whole heart, soul, and mind; and love my neighbour as myself. That must be part of what He expects?

Jesus said that I need to take up my Cross and follow Him. Is that too part of what He expects?

The Scriptures speak of the crucible, of gold refined in fire, of running the good race. Are these elements also part of what He expects?

I think that what He expects is actually very simple. He even gives us a clue: "Unless we become like children, we shall not enter the kingdom of heaven". (Matthew 18:2-4)

Father, I am Your child!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

True Freedom or Addiction?

What is the meaning of freedom?

Some will say that it means that they can indulge in whatever they want whenever they want to. Drugs, drinking, sex, partying, living life to the "fullest", and the list goes on. This is, to me, the essence of the "freedom" being preached in the various forms of media as well.

When I was out and about, sometimes living my life on the street in my late teens early twenties, I watched people around me destroy themselves doing some pretty crazy things. In a way, it was those "lessons" that taught me to stay away from things like hard drugs and some of the lifestyles those individuals were living. Believe me, my guardian angel still worked very hard at keeping me from death and destruction!

I am going to be over simplified here, but, what is the essence of addiction? To me, it is the inability to say, "NO!" To put it another way, it is the loss of control over one's life or some aspect of their life.

And that brings me back to those who claim they are living a life of total freedom. If one is totally free, then one should be able to say no to anything. I have heard it said that there is no reason to say no in the first place because what they would say no to is something they want. Oh really?

The first step in the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step program is to recognize that one is powerless over their addiction to whatever it is.

So here is the challenge to those who claim to be truly "free". When the next opportunity comes to drink, take drugs, have sex (matters not if the person is known), smoke, or pick a fight, or (name your poison), try and say no. Try and abstain.

Then, be honest with yourself and examine the thoughts and feelings that hit you when the decision to say no happened. They may surprise you. And, if you end up doing whatever it is anyway, I hope and pray that at some point step 1 will become a reality. Believe me, I have been there.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Alcoholics Anonymous web site.
The 12 Steps at Wikipedia.

Word from Adoration

Every Saturday morning I am scheduled in for an hour at our diocesan adoration chapel. My time is from 06:00 to 07:00.

This morning I was up early, so I headed out pretty much right away. I ended up spending an hour and forty minutes with the Lord today.

His word to me was, "I love you John. I love you so very much that I am here for you. I am always waiting for you."

It was important for me to hear Him say that because my time spent with Him was mostly filled with struggles and distractions. It seemed like for every moment I was able to focus on Him and make an effort to open myself, there were a hundred moments more where I was lost in some thought or distraction.

This struggle at times brings out the realization of just how hungry I am to have the Lord fill those places within me that do not belong to Him yet. I so very much want to be completely filled by Him, to be permeated by Him, to reach the point where, "...it is no longer I, but Christ who lives in me". (Galatians 2:20)

From a different perspective, I want to be consumed by the Living Flame of Love! (St. John of the Cross). St. John of the Cross is my favourite saint. And it is he, along with Saint John Marie Vianney - whose name I took when I became Catholic, and St. Therese of Lisieux that are role models for learning how to let go and be consumed!

St. John of the Cross, teach me to abandon myself to the Living Flame of Love. St. John Marie Vianney, teach me to embrace the person that I am and help me to learn to love myself. St. Therese, help me to learn to focus on the little things and help me to do them well for love of our Lord!

Our Lady, Queen of Good Counsel, teach me to share in the gift of discernment that you used when the Angel Gabriel appeared before you. Teach me also to abandon myself to the will of the Father just as you did when you said, "Yes!" to the request to conceive by the power of the Holy Spirit, Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank You Jesus for the gift of Your time this morning. Thank You for Your Presence in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the altar!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

An online Adoration "Chapel" can be found here.

Taking the Long Way Home

I was blessed to receive an offer from an acquaintance through our business to head out to an NHL game this evening. It was a pretty good game.

After the game I had a decision to make, do I cut through town which means heading into the heavy traffic or do I head in the opposite direction to avoid traffic?

I took the long way home, heading towards the outskirts of the city and then cutting across near the top to get home in what turned out to be a short period of time.

During that trip, I was given an inspiration to make a turn that took me further out than I was anticipating. As it turns out, the road that I was on when that inspiration hit was actually closed at the intersection with the road that cuts across the top of town.

The Lord works in mysterious and wondrous ways!

So too is it in my spiritual life. There are times where Jesus takes me on some sort of side trip where I don't have a clue as to why He is showing me what He is, and why He is taking me in the direction that He is. I find that at times it is a lesson in obedience. I listen and obey. Other times, there is a neat gift waiting for me near the end of that side trip.

Don't get me wrong, I do struggle and sometimes get very frustrated with Him! But, after some time listening to Him, and to those that love me and support me in my family, I tend to take a deep breath and let go. Most of the time! ;*)

Ultimately, I need to understand that Jesus has what is best for me in mind when He calls me to do something. And, with St. Faustina, I sometimes need to say repeatedly, "Jesus, I trust in You!"

Jesus, teach us to trust in You. Teach us to be grateful for whatever You give us, and whatever You allow to come our way. Help us to be patient. Help us to be supple to the working of Your Holy Spirit in us. Thank You Jesus for the gift of this life! Thank You for the little things You do for us, like that inspiration to turn! Thank You Jesus for the gift of You!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Celibacy, Priesthood, and a Culture of Vocation

My recommendations to the Synod on how to deal with these 'shadows' presuppose the maintenance in the Latin Church of the ancient tradition and life-giving discipline of mandatory celibacy for the diocesan clergy as well as the religious orders. To loosen this tradition now would be a serious error, which would provoke confusion in the mission areas and would not strengthen spiritual vitality in the First World. It would be a departure from the practice of the Lord Himself, bring significant practical disadvantages to the work of the Church, e.g. financial, and weaken the sign value of the priesthood; it would weaken, too, the witness to loving sacrifice, and to the reality of the Last Things, and the rewards of Heaven. ... Cardinal George Pell: Fifteenth General Congregation*

To me, as a former seminarian, the charism of celibacy is a very important aspect of the diocesan and religious community priesthood. It is very important to give witness to a world that has lost perspective on the value of the human person of the love and sacrifice that is celibacy.

The priest receives an indelible mark on his soul when he receives Holy Orders. He is Jesus Christ, in persona Christi. It is Jesus who sits with me in the confessional and pours the healing salve of His Blood into the wounds created by my sin. It is Jesus who heals in the Anointing of the Sick. It is Jesus who acts to bring the whole congregation to the Father, and feed us with His Body and Blood during the celebration of the Eucharist. With the exception of marriage where the couples confer the Sacrament upon each other, it is Jesus Christ who acts in the Sacraments.

The priest holds the awesome power of heaven in his hands! He can bring Jesus Christ to us in the Eucharist at any time of the day or night. He holds the power of sharing the riches of our redemption in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

I do not believe that a married clergy would solve the so called vocation "crisis" in the Church today. I do believe that there are three very important aspects to increasing vocations though.

One is in the bishops. And, I do believe that our local Archbishop has taken a step in the right direction by opening a diocesan Perpetual Adoration Chapel. That is one place that young men and women will be able to take the time to listen and subsequently "hear" the call to a vocation in the priesthood or religious life. There, they will form a deep and lasting relationship with the Lord. The Archbishop speaks regularly to the young about discernment and being open to a vocation. He is a very holy man and we are blessed by his presence in our Archdiocese.

The second is in the priests themselves. I have been blessed to have met some very happy and holy priests. And therein lies a key witness to the gift of priesthood. Men who live their vocation deeply in love with Jesus Christ, who love to give witness to the Gospel, and who love sharing the Sacraments with all of us. A powerful and positive witness to just how great the life of the priest and religious can go a long way to inspiring the young to consider that vocation.

And the third and last element is here at home. We the laity are very much responsible for the dearth in vocations too. Again our archbishop has encouraged us to give witness to our children, to, "live our faith deeply and longingly for the Lord". We must live a culture of vocation in our homes. Do we talk to our children about priestly and religious life as a viable option? Or do we avoid it at all costs? Do we demonstrate to our children by our words and actions the sacredness of the priesthood? Do we encourage our parish priest to feel welcome and visit with us? We must bring our children before the Lord and encourage them to listen to Him. Through Mass and especially in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, the Scriptures, writings of the Saints, and our relationship with the Lord our children will learn to hear His voice.

One of the fruits that I have seen as a result of my stay in the seminary is that quality of the men discerning their vocation. These are men considering the life as a diocesan priest. Men who have lived their lives chastely and understand the charism of celibacy and the gift that it is for the Church. They are men formed by the theology of Pope John Paul II. They are the men who will go on to inspire many other young men to really give the vocation of priesthood a serious thought. I believe it is because they have begun to truly understand the indelible mark they will receive in Holy Orders and that they also have begun to understand the meaning of in persona Christi. They understand that it is Jesus Christ who works in them!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

*Cardinal George Pell Quote here. Fifth paragraph.

Fatherhood, Pregnancy, and Sacramental Graces

Right from the time we knew we were pregnant with Anne-Marie we started praying over her together on a regular basis. We prayed for all of the obvious things like her health and a safe birth. We also prayed that her life be deeply rooted in the Lord.

We also prayed for a nickname for our first little one while in the womb. We came up with Little Pea because she was like a pea in a pod being nurtured and kept safe by Lucille.

I was hit with this deep urge to lay my hands on Lucille's tummy and pray over our little one in the womb daily. Somehow I realized that this was very important for me to do as a father: to pray for the health and growth of my child and most especially place a father's spiritual protection around the child and mother.

It was also important for me to welcome our little addition to the family. It wasn't hard, I was grinning from ear to ear when we saw the confirmation of what we already knew: the test showed positive. Some of the first words out of my mouth were, "Welcome to the family!"

So too it is with our newest edition to the family. We have nicknamed this little one Pitou (Little Person - pronounced peetoo) or I sometimes juxtapose the name and say Toupie (top - pronounced toopee).

We pray over our newest little one often and we talk to them a lot. I try and make a point to affirm Pitou with love and welcome as often as possible. Given my own womb experience this is especially important to me. We are also making a point to introduce Pitou to Anne-Marie. She has begun to figure out what we are saying! It is pretty cool, and we are hoping that this early introduction will prepare her for the time when her little brother, sister, or the twins (runs in Lucille's family and we are hoping!) come home.

We believe in the sacredness of the person from conception to natural death. We also believe, and have first hand experience, of our ability to be not only physically present to our child in the womb, but spiritually present to them as well. The child in the womb too, as we have experienced, also makes themselves physically and spiritually present to us. Especially later on in the pregnancy.

The communion of persons living the Sacramental reality of marriage is a very deep and mysterious thing. Much like the communion of saints there are some pretty neat ways that we can be available to one another in the Sacrament. In discovering these ways, we sometimes experience the spiritual and mystical elements of the Sacrament's graces. This root goes down into the deepest aspects of who we are (Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II).

The Holy Spirit is Who ties us together in the Sacrament, and as in all Sacraments, we, the married couple are the visible sign of an invisible grace given. Our children are the fruit of that grace and of our love. We make sure to affirm them with that knowledge as often as we can!

Please pray for the successful delivery and the health of Pitou, our newest member of the family.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

My reflections on the first pregnancy can be found here.

My reflections on the Lord's healing of my own experiences within the womb is here.

Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving!

Yes, for us Canucks, it is Thanksgiving today!

Father, we thank You and praise you for the gift of Your wondrous creation! We thank You most especially for giving us the gift of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank You Father for willingly giving Him to us with the full knowledge that He would be crucified by us.

Thank You Jesus for redeeming us! Thank You for the generous gift of suffering and then dying for us. Thank You for showing us the way, the truth, and the life. Thank You Jesus for the gift of the Sacraments that deepen our relationship in You.

Thank You Holy Spirit for dwelling in us. Thank You for inspiring us to open ourselves fully to a deep, loving, and meaningful relationship with the Father and Jesus. Thank You for bringing us closer to the Father and Jesus through the gift of Your action in the Sacraments, Scripture, and the Church.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank You for the gift of love that we share in You. Thank You for the gift of our marriage and the fruit of love in our marriage: our children. Thank You for the roof over our heads, for the cars that get us to and from the places we need to go, for the food that we eat and the clean water we drink. Thank You for the warm clothing we wear.

We praise You Most Holy God for the many blessings You bestow upon us in this life. Thank You for calling us to walk in the footsteps of Jesus. Thank You for the daily Crosses we bear and the sharing we have in the suffering of Jesus. Thank You for all of life's events and the people that You place on our path, the good and the bad.

We give glory to You Most Holy God by our lives.

The Everetts

Lucille - Romance - The Date

Yes, we women do like to be "wooed" don't we. Before John and I got married it was easy, we could go out whenever we wanted and where we wanted, we were free! It was not very difficult for John to 'woo' me. Once we got married it was still pretty easy to go on a date. As time went by as a married couple, we had our first child and now another child on the way so the arrangements to actually go on a date turn into a totally different scenario that takes a little extra effort to get a babysitter, pump some milk if I am breast feeding etc...
It is so very important to go out as a married at least once a month and to make it an outing priority #1 in front of going out with friends or family even if it just for an hour walk or a two hour movie. At times when things get busy with work, it is amazing how just a walk for a half hour or more rejuvenated my relationship with John. With kids around, I think it is really easy not to make the effort to go out alone as a couple.
I think part of that comes from feeling very secure in your married relationship which is not a bad thing of course but I feel it can be a bad thing if the relationship is not being properly nurtured. Sometimes we may not realize the effects lack of nurturance can have on the relationship. Slowly, we pull away from each other, the affection dwindles, communication breaks down. We just don't have fun together. The relationship becomes stagnant, motionless and doesn't grow. I think that this is an area where a women is more sensitive in detecting the stagnancy of the relationship but of course not always.
For me (and I think a lot of women are the same), I need to feel close to my husband on all aspects of my being, the emotional, spiritual, and physical. The first two are what nurtures the physical. I need to have time to only focus on him without the distraction of our sweet child. I can compare this to having an hour each week in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I also need time alone with Jesus and feel close to Him and that is number 1 next to my husband.
I can still remember a priest from our parish telling us when we were engaged to always keep that spirit of courtship that we possessed as engaged couple alive and to carry it into our marriage. I understand his statement so much better now. When we were engaged I felt like we would always remember this feeling and love we had but I know now it takes a lot of work to keep it going further and deeper into the marriage.
Our date was great as always. We talked, laughed, and held each during a very good but intense movie. I am looking forward to our next date.

Lucille

Here is John's point of view.

Sleepless

Ever have a night where you wake up and your mind just won't stop throwing things at you?
Ever have a night where you wake up and not only your mind is throwing things at you but your body and spirit is too?
These especially when what woke you was some powerful dream?

Tonight is one of those for me. After spending some time praying to gain control, I got hit with a series of memories from my pre-teen and early teen years.

I used to get night terrors from about 10 years until I was about 14. These terrors did not stop when I woke, but continued into my waking world with a terrible presence in my room and an inability to breath. I was told by my mother to pray, but I didn't really know what that meant at the time.

Because of the terrors, I learned to shut down any and all access to dreams. I did not dream at all after that.

About a year after my conversion in 1989, my first spiritual director Father John and I spent some time on this. He prayed over and blessed me for the healing of my mind, body, and spirit so that I would learn to be open to dreaming again. We spent a lot of time on two points in Scripture: Matthew 1:20 where it came to Joseph in a dream that he was not to dismiss Mary, but to take her as his wife; and Matthew 2:13 where again in a dream Joseph was called to take Mary and Jesus into Egypt in order to keep them safe from harm.

I learned to trust that Jesus would protect me as I opened up again and I eventually began to have dreams again. Most were good, a few spoke to me about current circumstances, some made absolutely no sense at all, and some where disturbing. Whatever the dream, I always brought them to prayer and spiritual direction.

Today, it is rare that I remember my dreams. When I do, I will sometimes write it down if it was still clear enough (I started journaling just after my conversion). I would then spend time in prayer asking Jesus if the dream had any significance or not, discern it with Lucille, and bring it up with my spiritual director. If the dream was not clear, I would generally let it go.

It was in a dream several years before I met Lucille, that I saw the silhouette of a lady in a second floor window holding a white fluffy cat. I could tell by the silhouette that the lady had long hair and that she somehow carried a weight of significance for my life, but that was about it. It turned out that Lucille had a white fluffy Persian cat that she was very fond of around the same time that I had that dream! Lucille also has beautiful long and dark hair! The Lord works in mysterious ways eh?

I also know, that in those times where I catch some form of glimpse into my dream world, that I usually have had an excellent sleep that night! Tonight, and nights like this are the exception to the norm.

Lord Jesus, we pray for those who suffer from some form of insomnia. Bless them with sleep, bless them with a deep resting place in their dreams. Lord Jesus, please deliver those who suffer night terrors! Bless them with Your peace and send your Archangel St. Michael to protect and guard them from all harm. Thank You Jesus for hearing our prayer.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

John - Romance - The Date

As a husband, it is of particular importance to keep the romance in our marriage alive. I must admit that I have not always been able to do that. There is, in my experience, some startling differences between the male and female psyches, and, this is definitely one area!

Lucille sometimes needs to remind me that she needs to be romanced. She needs to feel that I still have a romantic love for her. She needs to have us spend exclusive time getting reconnected to each other. She needs to receive the gift of me and my time freely and out of love for her.

I, on the other hand, tend to place the romantic aspect of our relationship much further down on the list of priorities. So, indeed I need to be reminded of her needs.

This is especially true when we had our first child. We did not get any exclusive time together for a long time after Anne-Marie was born! When we both realized this and Anne-Marie was old enough, we made arrangements for someone we trust to sit with her.

We went out for dinner and had an awesome time. We made a rule that we would not talk about Anne-Marie and about parenting if we could help it. We managed somewhat to do that, but eventually we didn't get too far on that one at first! ;)

The beauty of that date time though, was being able to look into her eyes, to hold her hands across the dinner table, and to just be in her presence. We then made a commitment to try and get out on a date at least once a month. We haven't been able to make that happen as often as we had hoped, but when we do get out we have a really good time.

My dad is coming over to sit Anne-Marie this afternoon and this evening. So, we are off. I booked us into this amazing Thai restaurant for supper, and then I am going to take her for a Bubble Tea and a movie. She was very pleased when I let her know that I had made the reservations! Sometimes I won't tell her anything about the date at all as Lucille has this amazing curiosity bug that gets really cute when I drop a hint about a surprise but won't say anything more!

So, to you husbands, and soon to be husbands my advice is this: Pray to the Holy Spirit to attune your spirit to the romantic needs of your wife. Pray that the Holy Spirit truly trains you in the art of woo till you both sing together:

My love is a sachet of myrrh
lying between my breasts.
My love is a cluster of henna flowers
among the vines of En-Gedi.

-How beautiful you are, my beloved,
how beautiful you are!
Your eyes are doves.

-How beautiful you are, my love,
and how you delight me! (Song of Songs 1:13-16)

Indeed, God is good!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Here is Lucille's point of view.

Fortunate

I've always considered myself very fortunate when everything is going well in my pregnancy including my first with our daughter. I've had the normal effects of what pregnancy can physically do to a women's body which can be hard enough to deal with at times. Nonetheless, I do consider some or most of these effects such as morning sickness, fatigue, heartburn etc... a blessing in a way because I know my baby is okay and thriving.
I write about how fortunate I am because I sometimes hear or read of women with pregnancy complications such as a lady I met through my prenatal swimming class. By the way they call the class "Aquabellies" which I found rather cute. This young lady was talking about how she couldn't keep any food down in her first trimester and ended up being in the hospital. Then other complications arose lately now that she is 37 weeks. She wanted to go to a certain hospital for the birth but was told to go to a specific hospital that deals with high risk pregnancies. I just pray that everything turns out okay for her and baby.
You never know what can happen when giving birth even though you pray for the best. You never know if your baby will be premature or be totally healthy. John and I know by experience because I needed to stay in the hospital for 5 days with our first child because our daughter was diagnosed with aspiration pneumonia. I can't imagine what it would be like for those who need to stay in the hospital with their little one or ones a lot longer or worse case scenario, leaving the hospital without their baby or babies in their arms at all. Luckily, we had no serious complications after we left the hospital. Thanks be to God.

Lucille

House of D - Movie Review

We watched a new release DVD called, "House of D" directed by, and starring David Duchovny of X-Files fame.

What a neat movie!

Duchovny plays Tom Warshaw as an adult, and Anton Yelchin plays Tommy Warshaw as a young kid turning 13 in 1970's New York, New York.

When the movie starts, Tom has a son who will be turning 13. To Tom, that is the age where one goes through a rite of passage. So, he sits down with his wife, to share with her what happened to him when he turned 13.

From there we are introduced to Tommy (Tom's younger self), and his best friend Papass (Robin Williams) who is slightly mentally challenged. We share in some of their adventures as well as some of their struggles. Many laughs and some tears too.

We also share in the many good and bad things that happen to and around Tommy.

Without giving away anything, the movie is, in my opinion, very well acted and directed. The cinematography is very well done, with each shot capturing the mood and beauty of the moment.

The story is excellent. There are many of us who can relate to the younger Tommy as well as how he deals with events as they unfold. There may be even more of us who are in the position of the adult Tom that need to reflect on how we have or have not dealt with our past. The story holds its focus very well, keeping us very much involved in the young Tommy's world. I found it very easy to be immersed into the story as it is very believable.

Something that is important to our family is what we could call a kid rating. This film easily receives a 4 out of 5. I agree with the PG-13 for the film, and that parents should check it out before inviting their kids to see it. I would not have a problem with early teenagers watching it.

The movie provides many themes and scenes that provide an invitation for conversation with our children.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

You can find the movie at Amazon:

House of D - US

House of D - Canada

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Millstone

"But anyone who is the downfall of one of these little ones who have faith, would be better thrown into the sea with a great millstone hung around his neck." Mark 9:42

Everything we think, say, and do has consequences.

Jesus here reminds us that He is very protective of His little ones.

We are His little ones!

And thus, we must take care of each other! We must also protect each other!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Walking on Water

I have an old black and white picture of Peter half sunk in the raging water with Jesus standing on the water reaching down to him with a look of compassion on His face. In the background the huge waves are breaking against the boat.

I must admit, I am feeling like Peter right about now.

It takes a great act of faith to believe that Jesus will indeed be reaching down to me when the storm rages within.

Sometimes I am too focused on the storm and its effects to even take notice of His hand that is right beside my face.

Trust, man what a difficult thing at times!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Stillness

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

He is there waiting for us.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Vulnerability Continued...

The gift of self, to me, has essentially three parts: The spiritual gift (which can only be given and received in the state of grace), the mental/emotional gift, and the physical gift. I find, that as a society here in the West, we tend to focus in on the physical (with even more focus on the genital) with some attention to the mental/emotional. Hardly do we find any commentary on the spiritual connection between the spouses, or attention on the fact that we gift ourselves to the other in Marriage and that the gift is forever!

In order to give the complete self to another one must make an act of trust. To one who has been abused on all levels of being as I have, means that act of trust has even more weight. To me, that is in essence what true vulnerability is: to give the complete self to my spouse and trust completely that she will not crap, stamp, crush, tear apart, etc. that gift.

And that, my friends, is where Lucille excels! It takes a tender and gentle heart to sense and realize how to earn the trust of one with a history such as I. The honesty and mutual vulnerability that I see in Lucille, as well as that very special look she gives me every once in a while are all very important to me. But most especially, it is the way that she has treated me right from the start: with mutual respect and dignity. She has fostered the love that began to grow between us with such grace. I realized fairly early in our relationship that she was indeed a daughter of the Father! What a special grace! :*D

Truly I am blessed to have Lucille as my wife. And, truly I have been blessed by the Lord to have received the healing and strength from Him to be the person I needed to be when Lucille and I first met.

She was and is worth all of the struggles and pain in the healing process. She is indeed my best friend for the way she treats me is like no other human alive or dead has ever treated me!

Lucille, thank you and I love you! ;)

Pax vobis,

John Everett.

Vulnerability

Given the nature of my background it is very tough for me to be vulnerable. By that I mean, opening myself up to allow someone in, and to give myself completely to another.

And yet, my marriage depends on it.

I have made a commitment to Lucille. Part of that commitment is to give myself as a gift (I am slowly learning to see myself as one) and the other part is to receive the gift of her.

If I refuse to be vulnerable, our relationship will die. I will have essentially refused to give of myself to her, and refused to receive the gift of her.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, as He has put Lucille into my life and she understands this aspect of commitment. And a neat thing about that is, she understands my struggles with vulnerability and is very patient with me. She is always prayerfully supporting me as I struggle to learn.

Being vulnerable to me is an important part of the Sacrament of Marriage (CCC 1616, 1617). It is the opening of one's self completely to our spouse just as Christ did on the Cross. And therein lies one of the sources of Sacramental Grace.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

St. Therese of Lisieux

Today we celebrate St. Therese who John Paul II proclaimed a doctor of the Church on World Mission Sunday, October 19, 1997.

In her writings we find the ultimate in simple faith. Her autobiography, Story of a Soul has sold millions of copies in many different languages.

During her life as a nun she suffered greatly due to illness. She did not however, mention to anyone that she was suffering. When her illness became known, she continued to suffer patiently out of love for God. Her illness worsened until her death on September 30, 1897 at the young age of 24.

"...thus began, as was her desire, a new phase of apostolic presence on behalf of souls in the Communion of Saints, in order to shower a rain of roses upon the world." The Life of Saint Therese, Vatican News Services.

It is said that those who have a particular devotion to St. Therese will receive a bouquet of roses in response to asking St. Therese for a favour or intention. I must admit that it has happened to me on several occasions when I have turned to her for help or support. Here follows is the first time that I received a bouquet from her. This was also the first time, through a brother seminarian, that I came to really know St. Therese.

On this very day (October 1), during one of my two years in the seminary (mid 1990's), a brother seminarian and I were discussing St. Therese and her life. He had a particularly strong devotion to St. Therese as he shared in her charism of mystical simplicity and humility. We spent the afternoon sharing our experiences with our favourite saints, him St. Therese who is a Carmelite, and I St. John of the Cross who is also a Carmelite. It was a blessed time.

At the end of the afternoon, we went down to pray the Divine Office with the rest of the community. After Evening Prayer we went to the dining room for supper.

During the meal, my brother and I sat together to continue our conversations. Sometime during the meal, the entire dining room (it was quite large) filled with the scent of roses! The scent was very strong, as though someone had placed a bouquet directly under everyone's nose. Our brother seminarians stopped their eating and looked around to see where the scent was coming from. After a few moments everyone pretty much got back to their meals. My brother seminarian and I had already figured out where the scent had came from, it was a gift to all us from St. Therese on her feast day!

Later on, he and I offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God and St. Therese for that gift of love and affirmation. For me, it reinforced in me the need to learn more about the life of St. Therese and her particular way of living the Journey with the Lord.

Her Way became very important to me about four years back. I was in two consecutive car accidents about six months apart. In one I was rear-ended and the other one I was broadsided by someone on a cell-phone who ran a red. Both accidents left me racked and in extreme pain. I was just starting to heal from the first when the second happened.

Here I came face to face with living in extreme pain 24/7. This pain was extreme during the extensive massage sessions and physiotherapy sessions. The massage went on for over 18 months total and the physiotherapy went on for 6 weeks straight about half way through that 18 month period.

I had two options: get bitter and cranky and share that with those around me, or decide to share that suffering with Jesus at the Cross and making the suffering redemptive. This is where St. Therese came in. She was with me through the whole ordeal, encouraging me and supporting me during the most painful of times.

St. Therese helped me stay focused on Jesus hanging on the Cross, and she coached me on how to offer my suffering for specific needs and intentions of those around me and sometimes names of strangers that she shared with me. Ultimately, she showed me how she was very thankful for the suffering in her life. It was her offering of love to Him and it was an offering of love for her sisters in the convent as well as the many other intentions the Lord brought to her.

Indeed, I did learn that lesson. Before entering the doctor's office for my hour of very painful massage therapy, I would offer a prayer to Jesus giving Him what I was about to go through. During the tough times I would turn to a crucifix and offer that suffering and pray for support to make it through the pain.

I was blessed to essentially stay bitter free! :*) It took time to heal, and also to forgive the drivers in both incidents, but I managed with the grace of God to do so. It took time to let go of the anger and rage that at times brewed within me too. It took a constant vigilance to keep myself focused on Jesus.

Thanks be to God for those experiences. Thanks be to God for the gift of St. Therese who was there to teach me about how to suffer for the glory of God. Thanks Jesus for gifting me with such a small share in your Passion!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Vatican's press release on the life of St. Therese can be found here.
An excellent article by Fr. John Hardon on the life of St. Therese can be found here.

Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel - Full Version

Here is the full version of the St. Michael prayer as received by Pope Leo XIII.

O glorious Prince of the heavenly host, Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in the fearful warfare that we are waging against the principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the evil spirits. Come you to the assistance of men, whom Almighty God created immortal, making them in His own image and likeness and redeeming them at a great price from the tyranny of Satan. Fight this day the battle of the Lord with your legions of holy Angels, even as of old you did fight against Lucifer, the leader of the proud spirits and all his rebel angels, who were powerless to stand against you, neither was their place found any more in heaven. And that apostate angel, transformed into an angel of darkness who still creeps about the earth to encompass our ruin, was cast headlong into the abyss together with his followers. But behold, that first enemy of mankind, and a murderer from the beginning, has regained his confidence. Changing himself into an angel of light, he goes about with the whole multitude of the wicked spirits to invade the earth and blot out the Name of God and of His Christ, to plunder, to slay and to consign to eternal damnation the souls that have been destined for a crown of everlasting life. This wicked serpent, like an unclean torrent, pours into men of depraved minds and corrupt hearts the poison of his malice, the spirit of lying, impiety and blasphemy, and the deadly breath of impurity and every form of vice and iniquity. These crafty enemies of mankind have filled to overflowing with gall and wormwood the Church, which is the Bride of the Lamb without spot; they have laid profane hands upon her most sacred treasures. Make haste, therefore, O invincible Prince, to help the people of God against the inroads of the lost spirits and grant us the victory. Amen.

Pope Leo reportedly received this prayer during a vision he received just after celebrating Mass on October 13, 1884. In it the devil had requested the time and power to destroy the Church. The time given by Jesus to him was approximately 75 to 100 years and he was given free reign over those who chose to follow him. We do not know when that time began or if it has ended.

We are always to test the spirits as St. John calls us to in his letter. 1 John 4:1-6.

In my experience it is by spending time with Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament that we begin to become sensitive to the spiritual warfare going on around us as well as within us. He will teach us how to be good soldiers in this spiritual war. He will give us the weapons and defences we need.

Remember, the greatest gift we have been given, one of the ones Satan really hates, is the fact that we can fall, and then through an act of contrition and the Sacrament of Reconciliation be back in the good graces of God! Praise be Jesus Christ for this wonderful gift!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Pregnancy announcement

Hey there, here I am finally writing a blog for the first time in my life. I thought I would start with some great news. My husband John and I are expecting baby #2 next year! We are both very excited and looking forward to seeing our new addition and we have officially spread the news to most close family and friends. We also heard the baby's heartbeat the other day! Took a while for the doctor to detect it but finally found the heart beating at 156 beats per minute. I wish we had our own doppler device so we can listen to the hearbeat whenever we want. :) It is so amazing.
My brother and sister-in-law are also expecting a baby around the time as us but for them it will be through adopting a baby girl from China. They have a very slim chance of conceiving since my sister-in-law has severe endometriosis. They are very excited to adopt this baby and the family is very happy and supportive as well so it is all pretty neat.
God bless!
Lucille.

The Mysteries of Light

Some words that came to me while praying the Rosary this evening.

Jesus is baptized in the Jordan (Matthew 3:17)
"My Son, I am so proud of You!" God the Father

The wedding at Cana (John 2:1-12)
"Do as He tells you". Mary, Jesus' mother.

The proclamation of the Kingdom of God and the call to conversion.
"I am so proud of what my Father is doing! Let me show you!" Jesus Christ

Jesus is Transfigured (Luke 9:29)
"My Son, I am with you now, here is something to help You when times get tough". God the Father.

Jesus institutes the Eucharist (John 13:1)
"I love you my brothers and sisters. I want to be with you and to help you. Here, feed on me. Let me be your source of life." Jesus Christ

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Resistance to Change

"...enthusiasm for a virtue does not guarantee possession of that virtue; and that a clear perception of the beauty of spiritual transformation can coexist with a deep reluctance to let oneself be re-formed by Christ." Transformation in Christ, Dietrich von Hildebrand. Intro. viii

This is a statement in the introduction to the Transformation in Christ is by the author's wife Alice. To my immediate recollection I have never had anyone put into words in such an eloquent way what has essentially been my experience from the beginning of my Journey with the Lord Jesus.

One of the things that is so amazing about this statement is that it is Jesus who gives us that perception of the beauty to be had when transformed! He makes every effort that He possibly can to show us, or even experience, what it is that is waiting for us on the other end of the Cross!

And yet, I RESIST! YIKES! :-p

It was through a mystical experience that Jesus first gave me this perception. It happened around a year before I became Catholic and was instrumental in creating a hunger in me for God.

I was with a new friend who was essentially the instrument of my conversion. We were talking and he was sharing with me another world, the world of God. It was all so foreign to me as I was into some very dark things. At one point in the evening, it was as though Someone had touched me. This sense of total peace and contentment came over and in me that I broke down and cried because of the contrast between that peace and my daily life. I had never experienced being so comfortable in my own skin. I had never experienced such a total peace like that before that moment. It stayed with me for a short time and then left. I felt so empty.

From that moment, I made a commitment to discover that peace. That peace was the gift. I soon discovered that I was looking for the wrong thing! I needed to be looking for the gift Giver.

After becoming Catholic, and beginning the Journey I discovered that it was indeed possible to know what the Lord had in store for me after a healing process that He was calling me to enter. Even He received that gift in the Transfiguration! But, boy oh boy there were many times, and there still are some times, when I refused to cooperate. I did not want that cup of suffering!

The agony of healing can be so incredibly intense and totally consuming. Yet, once the process is finished, I was always one step closer to that deep peace that the Lord has for me. It was His promise that He made to me when He gave me that gift of peace right at the beginning, and then in the many times he gave me a new perception afterward, that gave me the strength to make the decisions to follow the healing path.

"...Christ suffered for you and left an example for you to follow in his steps." 1 Peter 2:21

St. Peter surely wasn't kidding when he said these words! In context, he is speaking to those who receive unjust punishment for something they did not do. This passage is so significant to those of us who have indeed suffered unjustly at the hands of others! I am thinking specifically of those of us who have been abused.

Realizing that Jesus suffered the ultimate abuse at the hands of us all because of our sin, that He indeed walked the same path as I, can sometimes be the only source of light at the end of the long dark tunnel of the healing path. He triumphed and rose from the dead! I too triumph in Him and with Him in His victory!

Praised be Jesus Christ for being willing to walk that path! Praised be Jesus Christ for willingly sharing His victory! And, praised be Jesus Christ for being so generous as to give us glimpses of the gift waiting for us after my time in the crucible!

Pax vobis!

J.E.

Old Wounds

The trip to my Mom's was difficult. Unfortunately she was not in a very good space and Anne-Marie sensed that so she didn't like to go to her Grandma.

Even though Mom is in a different house than the one that I grew up in, I still had a huge struggle with the old wounds that were rearing their heads while visiting there.

It is only through grace that I was able to avoid falling into the old patterns of co-dependent behaviours and allow Mom to press my buttons. Fortunately, with the support of Lucille and by grace, I was able to stop those button presses pretty much at their source.

For those of us who have been abused by a parent, parents, or close relative(s) it can be very difficult to be peaceful and present to the moments as they present themselves while in the former abuser's presence. Even with the grace of a deep forgiveness and letting go it can be very difficult.
Thanks be to Jesus Christ for His grace, and especially for bearing my wounds on His person during His Passion and Death. It is through Him that I have been healed.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Trust and travel.

We are flying out very early tomorrow morning to visit my mom.

It takes an element of trust and faith to get into what is essentially a tin can and expect to get out on the other end. So far, I have been fortunate to not have had any real negative experiences while flying.

The two exceptions to that rule were one time over the Great Lakes where we were doing these huge drops and then huge rises instantaneously for an undetermined period of time (I don't wear a watch). That was pretty crazy. The two young kids behind me were having a hoot, one of them managed to get rocked to sleep! I had to hang onto my cookies or they would hit the ceiling hard!

The other time was taking off out of an airport on an older 727 and it felt like the pilot figured he was still in his crop duster! We were not too far off the ground, we were heading East and needed to do a 180, when the engines pitched up even higher than they were during the take-off, and he rolled the plane literally over on its side into some sort of combat roll/turn! I turned a little green and prayed in that moment.

The best part for me though, is when we are taking off. I love the acceleration! I also love to try and predict just when the wings take lift as that causes a kind of thrumming feeling pass through the fuselage.

So, pray for us as we take a little break from the craziness of our business lives lately. We will do likewise for you too!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Chaplet of Divine Mercy

On the Rosary Beads:

Begin with the Our Father, Hail Mary, and the Apostle's Creed.

On the Our Father beads pray:

Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, should and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the world.

On the Hail Mary beads pray:

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Conclude by praying three times:

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

The Divine Mercy Chaplet was given to St. Faustina by our Lord on Friday, September 13, 1935. It is, I think especially important for us to pray today.

There are times where mercy and forgiveness are very difficult to find in this world. I am especially in desperate need of the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus Christ as I am such a terrible sinner!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Children

They are indeed a gift from God.

The more children we have, the more love flows within the family. Our little Anne-Marie has demonstrated that so clearly.

She challenges us to dig deeply within to draw out the love and share it.

She teaches us how to love unconditionally, and to forgive and forget our hurts as she does. She does indeed forgive us -we do make mistakes - and forget because of the purity of her joy and love when she is with us at a later time.

And, ultimately she teaches us how to love God and receive His love unconditionally.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Hurt and Healing

Living in close quarters can be a challenge at times. Inevitably, one of us says something or does something that hurts the other.

There are, in my experience, three types of hurts that one can experience at the hands of another:

1. The perceived hurt. Something that was said or done by the other that touches a wound, or elicits some form of hurt feelings. Usually the other doesn't have a clue as to why there are any hurt feelings in the first place.
2. The actual hurt. Something that was done by another, though unintentionally, that actually does hurt us. This can be something the other has said or done that has indeed hurt us. The other, in this case, will know that they have done something wrong.
3. The malicious hurt. This one, to me, is pretty obvious. Someone goes out of their way to hurt us.

In the first two instances, there is a need to claim my feelings. When I have been hurt in either of these ways, I need to start with a prayer for forgiveness and healing. Once I have managed to bring myself into a calmer place - sometimes this can take time - I will sometimes try and reach out. For me, it is important to take a step back to work out my feelings because I might do or say something that will only cause more pain and hurt.

Once I have managed that, it is also important to take the steps to point out that I have been hurt. Usually it is pretty obvious because I have a distinct behaviour pattern when it happens.

The reconciliation and healing process can be the most difficult to get under way. Especially if one or both parties involved are particularly hard headed! ;)

Here, one should use statements like, "my feelings were hurt when you did x", or, "did you know that I was hurt when x happened?". Using accusatory statements like, "you hurt me by doing x!" or inflammatory statements that put the other down are to be avoided. They really only make matters worse. By starting with a prayer together for reconciliation, sitting down together and talking about the feelings that were hurt and the circumstances around that can be very vital to bringing peace back into the home and marriage.

As far as the third instance, one needs to be very careful. I have been in my fair share of manipulative relationships where the other would use very malicious and hurtful tactics, sometimes unknowingly, to put me in my "place". Outside of marriage, one could walk away if the other was unwilling to work things out, seek some form of help, and learn to treat others with respect. Inside marriage, especially if it is a constant form of abuse, then outside help is needed! Professional help is even better!

Ultimately, I find that it is only when we are consciously working to keep our relationship and marriage founded in and on the love given to us by the Father in Jesus Christ that we are able to pull through these tough times.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Heroes

We just finished watching a movie on Terry Fox. What an amazing human being. Indeed, he was and still is a hero for many people.

With courage, determination, and the will to make sacrifices for others he accomplished a lot. His legacy is very much alive and well today.

Who today can be said to be a hero? One who will leave such an indelible mark upon the psyche of humanity?

I think that those who have given themselves in the service of their country and its citizens are. Whether in the military, reserves, police force, or fire fighters. To me, these people are very much deserving a thank you and most especially our prayers.

Suggestion: next time you are in a restaurant or coffee shop and see some of those who risk their lives for us, buy them their meal if you can afford it. Do it anonymously, or do it with a thank you. However you do it, give them a gift. They may one day save your life, or even give their life to save it.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Jesus Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner. One can use the rosary to structure the prayer in a similar fashion as the rosary but using the 10 beads for the Jesus prayer. Or, if it is possible, one can obtain a Chotki which is used by those in the Eastern Rites to pray the Jesus Prayer with. It can have 33, 50, 100, or 103 beads on which to pray.

I like to pray the Jesus Prayer while sitting cross legged and in a quiet place. During the first part of the prayer, up to ...Living God, I breath in through the nose. During the last part, "have mercy on me a sinner" I breath out through the mouth sometimes speaking the words and sometimes not. The rhythm of the prayer helps one to focus on Jesus and listen to the inspirations of His Holy Spirit.

Sometimes I visualize His coming to me during the first part, essentially breathing Jesus in. During the second part, I sometimes visualize my sin leaving me as I breath out. Sometimes I am prostrate at the foot of His cross in dire need of His mercy. It is a centering prayer. It is a contemplative prayer. It is a prayer that states clearly who He is and who I am. It also brings peace and calm to the soul.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Ownership and Responsibility

One of the lessons that I was taught very early in my Journey with the Lord was to evaluate my use and or abuse of the gift of creation. By that I mean that I needed to realize that I was totally responsible for any and all of my thoughts, words, and actions towards His creation. Those thoughts, words and actions were mine, and mine alone and I needed to start to take responsibility for their consequences.

Prior to my conversion, and then for a while after it, I lived in a world of denial. I passed the buck and placed blame anywhere else but with myself. I thought that people's poverty was their own fault. I lived in my own little world with the people I allowed in it, and reasoned that everything beyond this little world didn't matter one iota. Everything beyond my little world couldn't have any effect on me and anything I did in my little world didn't matter to the rest of the world.

At some point, Jesus' call in the Gospels to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned, and shelter the homeless began to sink in. (Matthew 25:31-46)

If I kept on living in my little world, working for whatever I needed to consume, I would essentially be ignoring His call. I began to realize that I was in some small way responsible for the world around me too. If I kept everything to myself then my brother or sister on the street would continue to go hungry. If however, I gave them a couple of dollars to buy a coffee and sandwich then perhaps I have done my part to respond to His call. And, I also realized that it was not my place to make any assumptions about how that person would spend the money!

"In truth I tell you, in so far as you did this to one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it to me." Matthew 25:40

It is the Lord who speaks to me in the person asking for change. It is the Lord calling to me in the one who needs me to lend a compassionate listening ear, and it is the Lord calling to me to visit him in the nursing homes and hospitals.

How I choose to answer the call is my responsibility and no one else's.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

My child in my arms.

I have just finished putting Anne-Marie to bed.

God the Father holds us in His arms just as I held her. He comforts us, he holds us close to his heart so we can hear His heart beating with love for us. That love is expressed with every beat.

His Son, Jesus Christ is a gift for us. Through His death and resurrection we are no longer separated from the Father. That is what I whispered to her as she was slowly falling asleep. She belongs to the Father.

The Holy Spirit is present in us. Just before I put her to bed, I offered to her these words of encouragement and comfort: You are the temple of the Holy Spirit, you were made for Him, for God, and Him alone. He has given us His Holy Spirit to dwell within us to always guide us on the path to heaven.
Pax vobis,

J.E.

Working too hard...

I have been very busy the last week or so. Today, I wasn't able to leave the job site until late this evening.

Anne-Marie our 18 month old was asking for me around the time I would normally come home.

It is times like these when I don't see her because I leave before she gets up, and come back after she has gone to bed.

I wonder what she will look like when I do finally get to see her?

She is growing up that fast!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

The Breath of God

Yahweh God shaped man from the soil of the ground and blew the breath of life into his nostrils, and man became a living being. Genesis 2:7

...This "body" reveals the "living soul," such as man became when God-Yahweh breathed life into him (cf. Gn 2:7) Pope John Paul II, Theology of the Body p. 61

I have heard it said that everyone has a living twin somewhere in the world. I find this difficult to believe, especially given the fact that each one of us is unique. Each one of us is created in God's image.

Close your eyes, quiet your mind, listen to your breathing and the various notes in the melody of your body. Sense and know the beauty of that melody, for in it can be found the movement of that very Breath that gave us life!

It is that Breath that makes us distinctly who we are, God's children. It is that Breath that has given us purpose in this life.

Pax vobis

J.E.

My Father In-Law's Chair

When Lucille and I were married I moved into her apartment. It was quite the experience bringing two people and all of their stuff together in one small apartment. Especially two who have been living independently for many years! :D

Once we were settled in, I grew kinda attached to her dad's rocking recliner that he gave to her a number of years before. It is comfortable, well worn in, and it rocks! I love to sit and rock while reading, praying the rosary, or when I am just sitting and relaxing.

Another reason I have grown attached to it is because of the relationship that has developed between her dad and me. He is a hard working man who has farmed all of his life. I have a lot of respect for his faith, wisdom, his gentle strength, and especially his spirit of peace.

Our conversations have spanned everything from farming (his work), technology (my work), life, faith and Jesus Christ, family, and so much more. It is in these conversations, and in the way he lived his life, that I began to develop this deep respect for him.

I actually look forward to heading out onto the prairies to visit with Lucille's family so that I can spend some time with him.

So, sitting here now, in the living room of our little home in this his former chair, it is a reminder of a man who has become a role model for me. The chair is, in a real sense, a concrete sign of many of the aspects of fatherhood and manhood that I aspire to.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

A Taste of Heaven

Every once in a while, when I am completely in the moment the Lord gives me a taste, a glimpse into heaven. There are really no words to describe the experience other than perhaps a large number of adjectives like amazing, awesome and most especially peaceful.

One of those moments came when I was with a couple of friends in Adoration before the Lord. We were praying together, singing a few songs, and pouring over the Scriptures. It was after a song we were singing about the trees reaching for heaven that my whole person was lifted there. I experienced this deep joy and peace that lasted until one of my friends finally gently tapped me on the shoulder to ask me what was happening! It was neat to share with them how the Lord had just opened the door to heaven for me and we were there together.

Of course, I have to ask Him why I have had these experiences and one answer always seems to stand out before all others is to encourage me.

There are many sides to the reasons behind His need to encourage me.

One reason is that at times I sit in a moment where I am so fully aware of my entire self, good and bad - especially the bad, that I have a hard time believing that heaven could really exist for the likes of me. In these moments I am completely naked inside and out before Him. He, and those around me, need to keep affirming that I am indeed loved and that the gifts that they give me indeed are real and true.

The above self perception comes from years of physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse by those who were supposed to love me and that I was supposed to trust, or those who were supposed to be my friends and that I was supposed to be able to trust. That self perception is completely distorted from the truth! Also, my experiences of heaven stand out in stark contrast with those experiences in the first twenty plus years of my life.

Another reason, and this one brings me to tears at times, is that He can be standing there with open arms in a mystical moment, or in the person of my wife, child, adoptive father, or others and I shrug them off. It is very difficult to accept love after being beaten up for so long. I am sure it is as difficult for Him as it is for my wife, child, father, and others to have to deal with me not fully accepting their love for me.

And the final reason, I have no concept of dying and what that means and entails. I am sure that we are all in this boat to some degree or other. Death indeed is a mystery and we are told that Jesus conquered death on the Cross, but it is still something that nags at the back of my mind. Tied into that is my fear of not being in the state of grace at that moment. This fear comes from the ongoing struggle with sin in my life. It is here, in pondering death (called eschatology - the study of the last things, death, judgment, heaven, purgatory, and hell) that I meet with the concrete need to make an act of faith. I have to believe in Jesus Christ's victory over sin, death, and Satan. This is the only way to conquer this fear.

It goes without saying that the Lord knows exactly what we need and when we need it. The tastes of heaven always seem to come at a time just when I need some affirmation and encouragement from Him.

Jesus, I thank you for blessing me with these moments, for the wisdom and understanding that You bring to me in them, and for Your encouragement.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Duc in Altum - Put out into the Deep!

2. The Internet is certainly a new “forum” understood in the ancient Roman sense of that public space where politics and business were transacted, where religious duties were fulfilled where much of the social life of the city took place, and where the best and the worst of human nature was on display. It was a crowded and bustling urban space, which both reflected the surrounding culture and created a culture of its own. This is no less true of cyberspace, which is as it were a new frontier opening up at the beginning of this new millennium. Like the new frontiers of other times, this one too is full of the interplay of danger and promise, and not without the sense of adventure which marked other great periods of change. For the Church the new world of cyberspace is a summons to the great adventure of using its potential to proclaim the Gospel message. This challenge is at the heart of what it means at the beginning of the millennium to follow the Lord's command to "put out into the deep”: Duc in altum! (Lk 5:4). Message of the Holy Father for the 36th World Communications Day. Pope John Paul II, Sunday May 12, 2002.

It is our responsibility to respond the call of our Lord to witness to our faith. And, in my experience, there is no more important a place to do it than in the realm of technology and the Internet.

What a beautiful and awesome responsibility it is for us Christians to bring His Light into this place! How wonderful it is to share the love that we have for Jesus Christ, for our brothers and sisters, and for our selves than to lay bear our souls to the world.

The Pope John Paul's original message can be found here.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Why wait ... The Gift...

Why wait to have sex until one gets married you ask?

"The communion of persons means existing in a mutual "for," in a relationship of mutual gift." Theology of the Body p. 61

Consider this: If it was your birthday tomorrow and I gave you a gift that has most of the wrapper torn off and the gift itself having already been used, how would you feel?

Consider this: How can one form a bond with that gift before reconciling the fact that it has been used?

And finally, consider this: For those who have kept the gift of themselves for their one and only future spouse, it can initially be very difficult to work through the feelings of hurt, disappointment, loss, and the fact that someone else has used that gift before them. There would need to be a very conscious act of the will to forgive the one who didn't keep the gift wrapped for them before they were married.

This view of who we are, a gift, is very contrary to the messages we hear from the world around us. God made us as a gift of love! Not only that, he made us in His image! Isn't that completely amazing? What a mystery we can spend an entire lifetime pondering!

I am only now beginning to understand what it means to be a gift for my wife Lucille. And the flip side of that is I am only now beginning, after almost 3 years of marriage, to understand the mystery of her giving herself completely to me as a gift.

The "for" spoken of in the above quote can be situated like so: I live for Lucille and she lives for me. What an amazing mystery!

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Self-Esteem or Humility?

According to Dictionary.com self-esteem is defined as, "pride in one's self and self respect". We hear a lot about self-esteem and the need to build a person's self-esteem up, especially in young people.

It seems to me that humility is what we should be affirming and building up. As opposed to the self doing the building, a humble person recognizes the Builder and the relationship that person has with Him.

True humility also gives one an objective point of view from which one can evaluate all of one's thoughts, words, and actions. Self-esteem on the other hand may not provide that objective point of view since one's self-esteem and how to raise it up could be accomplished in any number of different methods good or bad.

A point to ponder or am I out to lunch?

Pax,

J.E.

Reading and life part 2.

I took a number of years off from reading. The exceptions being the Scriptures and the writings of a few of my very favourite saints. St. John of the Cross is at the top of my list. I love praying over his works and delving into his mystical wisdom.

That time off ended when I entered into the seminary. This was the biggest step of my life in the Journey with the Lord at that time. That was back in 1996.

Studying theology rewoke in me the hunger to delve into God's mysteries via the various course reading materials. I realized that I had been missing something over the previous number of years. I love to read! And, I really love to read and discover God!

The formation I received during my two year stay in the seminary taught me to augment the relationship I had with God with what I was learning. I could now bring what I was learning directly into my heart. This isn't to say that the process of absorbing what I was learning was a one step one that happened instantly. On the contrary, the process can take a lot of prayer and time.

Now, almost ten years later, I still love to read. Although now, I read what I sense the Lord is calling me to read and discuss it with him in our quiet times together.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Reading and life.

I went through my initial conversion experience to Catholicism at the Easter Vigil celebration in 1989. For the year preceding that evening and for the next three years or so following it I read voraciously. Everything and anything that I could get my hands on.

I spent a lot of time with St. Thomas Aquinas and his Summa Theologica, with Spirago and Clark in the Catechism Explained, Fr. Hardon's Catholic Catechism, books on spiritual warfare, Fr. Schouppe's Purgatory, Apologetics, and the list goes on and on.

I was fortunate that I worked the night audit shift in one of our local hotels so I could spend most of my time reading.

A friend of mine and I were chatting one day about the various books we had read and who our favourite authors were. At one point, he indicated to me that he had stopped reading books a number of years ago. When I asked him why, he told me there were a number of reasons. One was that he realized that the more he knew the less he actually knew, he also realized that the more knowledge he had the more he was responsible for that knowledge, and finally that one could not live one's life out of a book.

That conversation left a very deep impression on me. I looked back over the last few years at that time and realized that I was spending a very significant portion of my time reading. I went to the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament to ask Him what I should do.

I am not sure how long I was there with Him, but I came away with a very deep peace in my heart with the decisions we made together there.

I was to take everything that I had learned over the last number of years and learn to apply that knowledge. I was to take responsibility for what I knew and make sure that I responded to every life situation in the way that the Lord would expect me to. And lastly, as I learned to apply the knowledge to my daily life, I needed to allow it to embed itself into my heart.

Now, I look back on that moment as one of the most significant moments in my Journey with the Lord. Using my friend at that time He spoke a clear call to action. It is that action that lead me to be in the various places that the Lord needed me to be in to make the decisions that would direct my entire life.

Pax vobis,

J.E.

Rest

I have a tendency to over work. In the process I forget about my priorities:

1. My relationship with God.
2. My relationship with my wife
3. My relationship with my child
4. My relationship with others
5. Our business and work

Because of that, I am taking tomorrow, that is Friday through Monday off to spend time with family and to spend time in the quiet.

Pray for us!

Pax vobis,

J.E.